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I bought $250,000 worth of Bald Head Moisturizer.
No, that’s not a typo.
That’s roughly 69,000 containers of primo moisturizer, a warehouse of moist stacked from floor to ceiling.
An asset the consumer market literally can’t make fast enough when age and baldness hits.
Most people would call it insanity. But let me explain the thesis.
Each container costs about $3.62 today. But over the past 30 years, the price of head moisturizer has risen faster than the CPI, the dollar, and even gasoline, up over 400% since 1995.
Meanwhile, governments keep inflating supply chains and deflating standards. It’s only a matter of time before a “cost-optimized” future brings a diluted formula, smaller containers and less cream.
So what happens when moist becomes scarce?
Those who held the original moist, the “hard assets” of the mositure world, will see their cream vanish from supermarket shelves overnight. Just like silver coins, but creamier.
My $250,000 position, therefore, isn’t a “hoard.” It’s an asymmetrical bet that civilization will keep consuming, inflation will keep eroding, and moisture will keep outperforming scarcity.
Worst case? I still have $250,000 of tangible, usable assets that everyone will eventually need.
Best case? Prices triple, imports collapse, or regulation forces “eco-cream” making the legacy creams finite, luxurious, and priceless to the desperate and discerning alike.
It’s not crypto. It’s not gold. It’s not even a hand job.
It’s 69,000 soft claims on moisture itself, a hedge against both inflation and a dry head.
That’s deep value.
That’s the Head Moisturizer Standard.
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