Richard Spragg

@willowtv Will someone please tell your producer she is currently counting us through every moment of this T20 broadcast. 5...4...3...2...1...

@reblavoie I’m so poor I don’t even know what class that is.

Documenting the one time I’ve successfully slept on a plane

@grok who was the most famous person to visit my profile? No need to tag them.

@askUHC The website is down. The alternative phone number it gives is down. How am I supposed to pay my monthly premium, which is now overdue?

@reblavoie Trucker dragging elephant strapped down so it can’t change direction might be the clearest metaphor yet for the current state of the GOP.

Seen on 293N in New Hampshire. Georgia plates. I need the story.

@maxrushden @guardian_sport @bglendenning @archiert1 @NickyBandini @sidlowe Quoting Max today on what Mbappe needs to do “If you wanna be the best, if you wanna win balon d’or after balon d’or” can I suggest that maybe dedication’s what you need.

Tomorrow's @guardian_sport Football Weekly @bglendenning @archiert1 @NickyBandini @sidlowe Any questions?

@jordiconnor @jacob_culshaw Agreed. You could hit Vakoun Bayo from behind with a plant pot while he was standing in front of an open goal. It’s still yellow.

@jacob_culshaw I think the biggest factor is that they'd have done their research before the game and concluded that there is no such thing as an 'obvious goalscoring opportunity' for a Watford striker.

@D_C_W @FootballCliches I notice the distance from ball to goal is not shown. Is there a way to calculate this? Any theorem available?

Here's the diagram we referenced on @FootballCliches pod when debunking the claims that Dan James' goal for Leeds the other night was from "the tightest of angles" Listen ⬇️ pod.fo/e/22d5ac

@JeffLassiter @reblavoie Michael Sheen as Aquaman?

Isn’t it worth being nice so that, at minimum, Rolling Stone won’t ever write this kind of story about you? (Aside from the actual upsides of being nice and all.)

@reblavoie This weekend I will finish watching all 10 of the Best Picture nominees. Maestro is the second worst movie at this point, and Carey Mulligan the second best acting performance.

Join me in a toast if you still love Carey Mulligan but super hate this movie.

Anyone else notice that Emmanuel Dennis is left to celebrate alone? Is the dressing room a problem for him already? That would be fast work even with his reputation.

@RookeryMike I believe it will work for one season. If he thinks he's too good for the division and the club, which he surely still does, at least he knows he has to prove it. He has five months to take a shot at making himself a PL player again. We could see the benefit of that.

I may get pelters for being concerned about this signing. I love a redemption story and I hope it works out, but I’m protective of what Val @ this team have worked so hard to create at #WatfordFC & am wary of anyone that could upset it. Have a listen; let me know where you’re at.

@ThomasJDesign My favorite aspect of this is the scraggy beard that implies he has just been released from a dungeon. It's very Die Another Day.

They know he was banned right? He's also flirting for a move. This is so cringe.

@ThomasJDesign There is a special place in hell for managers who sub players on unlikely hattricks. It is a moral outrage.

Retire the number

They say the best internet passwords are just three random unconnected words strung together. All of my passwords are ‘Jake Livermore Hattrick.’

@JordanWiemer Can anyone on Watford Twitter tell me if we have started the same team twice this season? And if so, which XI was it and when? Thank you.

Rajovic in that half Shots: 0 Touches: 9 Accurate Passes: 5 Possession Lost: 2

@Pfaz4 @Britpopmemories We need to work on @Britpopmemories until he accepts the truth that Wild Wood is the superior record. I’ve been at it a while now. It’s not going well. Lol.

@Britpopmemories Do you really think Stanley Road is better than Wild Wood?

Repost a band or artist where their third album is their best album, in your opinion. Stanley Road -Paul Weller (solo career)

@jordiconnor If you’re doing it in the last minute as you throw everything forward, then that’s ok. If you’re doing it in the fifth minute, and you’re picking a guy just so he can be there to do it, then you are a shit football team. I’m worried.

When Val twigs that Healey can just throw it onto Rajovic's head in the six yard box, we're gonna be unstoppable. #watfordfc

@maxrushden Headers when the attacker doesn’t jump.

@kermodeandmayo with more time, you might have got to Brendan Gleason (The Comey Rule) vs Sam Rockwell (Vice). But lack of time to choose candidates in real life is perhaps why they’re always such gold-plated cockwombles.