HORSE POPE

I’ll never forget when my great grandad shot a gun called capitalism. He turned to me and said “this gun is called capitalism and that, lying there, is Karl Marx and... oh god. What have I done? ... he was just a man” Then he killed himself. With alcohol. Over the course of time

@Urfavbandsux My man. For once I’ve seen every movie in your watch list, so either I’m finally cool or you no longer are. Also Doom Generation? I’ve watched it twice but I’ll watch it a third time on your rec. maybe i missed something before

Would I like to go to the champagne room? Hell yes, but I’m gonna take my shirt off and let’s get those lights up. Here’s an article of what abnormal moles look like. I’m sorry I don’t have anyone to do this and you’re cheaper than a dermatologist. Then maybe we can hug or whatev

My favorite part of every drug commercial is when the prescribing doctor tells the patient “maybe you should try to lose some weight before we consider a pharmaceutical course of action... okay?”

I want to hear the @MileyCyrus cover of sweet child o’ mine. I sincerely think that would rule. Twitter, do your thing!!!* *fail so hard we know what it’s like to witness a supernova collapse into a black hole. I’ve been reading about stars my whole life son

@Urfavbandsux What watch? Ta-da!!

@Urfavbandsux Oh shit. Skinamarink

For real, today’s episode of The Price is Right is all in looking for in a film. ALSO IN “JUST LIKE HEAVEN”?BY THE CURE @thecure AT ABOUT 3:09 IN THE SONG THERE IS, STRAIGHT UP, A FART AS A FAN FOR 40 YEARS HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE?!

I’m just happy to see Eddie Murphy in movies again* *dont know if he got “me tooed” and refuse to watch to watch any of his stand up specials

Apocalypse Now sucks because it opens with a song by The Doors. There. I said what you were to afraid to say.

🎵Caution is a word that I can’t even spell/ C-p-4-x-i-2-L a word I cannot even spell🎵

Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven, and then god, like immediately, let that chimpanzee tear off your face and genitals?

@Urfavbandsux Good see he’s taking the neckerchief to the grave

Went to watch Cats! on Xmas day on mushrooms. We were kicked out of the theater for laughing too much

The Sparks Marstinka ™️

I want the purge to happen so I can finally skate Victorian Square without a cop up my ass in 30 seconds

@Urfavbandsux 🎵Santa, he’s bleeding/ Some punk shot him in the eye🎵

@Urfavbandsux 100% agree

@KaylaChowShow You look like my mom

Ruin a sexual encounter in 5 words or less.

@SteveRyanComedy Did you do that by giving him your jokes? MOTHERHUMPINGBOOOOOMM!!!!

I just got laid off from Twitter this morning with no notice. I was the tech who had to make sure that @DonaldJTrumpJr posted unfunny tweets. I never missed a day. I did that. I was good at MY JOB. And this is how I get rewarded?

@SurfGirlReads I haven’t but always looking for a recommendation! Thanks new friend. I also read a lot of non-fiction. Are you interested in those too?