Rocket59

I said to my wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." She replied, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?"

@benonwine The boats could all be sunk and the survivors rounded up and delivered back to France. Wouldn't take long, there's only a gap of 21 miles coast to coast.

A man crosses the Channel in a dinghy. No skills. No money. No intention of working. Then he brings over 22 family members. None of them work. None of them contribute. All of them refuse to. And what does the British taxpayer get told to do? Hand over three large properties for free so the whole family can live off the state. This isn’t compassion. This is a system being deliberately exploited while working people struggle to pay their own rent and bills. These migrants that come and have no skills or intention to work are a drain on this country’s already stretched resources. How much longer are we expected to put up with this?

@Lord_Talbot64 Don't waste your breath. He does not give a fuck about non-Muslims, he probably doesn't care about Muslims either.

Would these be the victims of rape gangs you claimed did not exist?

@jemmm85517813 They (politicians) don't care what the impact on citizens. is. We are effectively cannon fodder.

We really do need to ditch netzero. It will not make a scrap of difference to the climate but it is ruining our economy & causing severe hardship for many.

@TraceyLee_07 Paint it pink.

Whenever I park my car at the shopping centre, I can never remember where I've parked it, and I wander around aimlessly searching for it. 🤣 What is a genius hack that you use to help you remember where you've parked your car?

@JillMarinelli1 I guess those people are still alive which should make the prosecution mute.

The Allan government will not cancel nearly 20,000 fines issued to Victorians for failing to wear masks or attending illegal gatherings during the pandemic. The Coalition has branded the decision “disgraceful,” accusing Labor of being “desperate for every cent they can get their hands on.”

@atensnut I'd agree with that.

🙄🙄

@Real_King_Elvis In rough numbers, income tax rate has effectively doubled over the last few decades.

Australia’s debt bomb is real. National net debt ≈ $537 billion. Gross federal debt ≈ $977 billion. Add the states, territories and local government and total public sector debt is over $1.6 trillion. Labor’s answer? Tax you more. Higher income tax through bracket creep, higher fuel taxes, higher property taxes, new levies, and endless “temporary” measures that never leave. They keep spending like there’s no tomorrow while telling you the problem is that you don’t pay enough. You're their main revenue source. That’s not a solution. That’s the problem. The only way out is the one they refuse to take: Cut the spending. Cut the size of government. Stop treating taxpayer money like a political piggy bank. Get the budget back into surplus and start paying the debt down. Until that happens, every extra dollar they take from you is just fuel for more waste. Enough of the tax-and-spend cycle. Shrink the government before it shrinks your future.

@mark16pg We are done now. There is no way we will sustain another 2 years of federal ALP and come out the other end in good shape.

Labor lies will continue for another 18 months. By then the country will be at its lowest point since WW2. Labor/Greens need to be wiped out big time at the next election. If the Victorian effect takes hold & they are re-elected for a third term. The country is done.

@watergypsi Most politicians couldn't organise a fuck in a brothel so the climate change thing is total fiction.

Imagine, if you will, a world where people believe that the temperature of the planet can be controlled by giving more money to the government. I know right, absolutely crazy. Oh wait…🙄

@craigkellyAFEE How do we make these people. Who makes these people.

The lights are on, but there’s not a single functioning brain cell at home. Exactly how many thousandths of a degree do the brainwashed supporters of Adelaide’s "Climate Action Week" seriously expect this virtue-signalling circus to achieve? Can any of them even name a figure — to the nearest 0.0001°C — or will they just keep dodging the question forever? And while they’re busy pretending and transferring wealth to Communist China, how much longer will Adelaide be forced to endure the most expensive power bills in Australia — bills still skyrocketing — after every single promise of cheap renewable energy has been exposed as a complete and utter fraud?

A little girl was talking with her teacher about whales. The teacher explained that it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, although whales are very large mammals, their throats are relatively small. The little girl replied, “But Jonah was swallowed by a whale.” Slightly irritated, the teacher repeated, “No, that's impossible. A whale simply could not swallow a human being.” The little girl thought for a moment and then said, “When I get to heaven, I'll ask Jonah.” The teacher smiled and replied, “And what if Jonah went to hell?” Without missing a beat, the little girl answered, “Then you can ask him.”

@ksorbs Pretty certain he's a goner just can't figure out how they've managed to cover it up.

Has anyone seen Mitch McConnell alive recently?

An Irishman applied for a job on a construction site, but the foreman wouldn't hire him until he passed a simple maths test... Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" The Irishman said, "Dat is easy," and proceeded to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asked. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," said the Irishman. "Fair enough," said the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Irishman stared into space for a while, then picked up the picture that he had just drawn and made a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratched his head and said, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss was getting worried that he was actually going to have to hire this Irishman, so he said, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Irishman stared into space some more, then he picked up the picture again and made a little mark at the base of each tree and said, "Ere you go. One hundred." The boss looked at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" The Irishman leaned forward and pointed to the marks at the base of each tree and said, "A little dog came along and crapped by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred." "So, when do I start?"

@PeterDClack You should put this material on bluesky, it would blow it up.

The world has warmed by 1.4°C since the start of the Industrial Revolution 250 years ago. Meanwhile, atmospheric carbon dioxide levels around 426 ppm have delivered a remarkable ecological windfall: over 5.5 million km² of new leaf area springing up across the world since 2000, according to NASA satellite observations. This isn't just a marginal shift. That green growth equals an area twice the size of the Amazon Rainforest. In the arid Sahel, barren lands have shrunk as vegetation expands, while Arctic tundra greening jumped 38% between 1985 and 2016. Overall, the satellites reveal that between 25% and 50% of the planet's vegetated land showed a marked increase in greening. This surge in plant growth boosts agricultural productivity while reinforcing the Earth’s natural cooling mechanism. Over 30% of these greening areas mitigate local heat through enhanced transpiration and water-vapor management. The biosphere isn't a passive victim; it is an active participant. What we are witnessing isn't collapse — it's plain biological abundance. (Chart source: NASA MODIS satellite leaf area index data)

@BamaSaltyMarine Very good. There's hope for me yet.

I started a nightclub for men with erectile dysfunction! It was a flop and nobody came….

@stokdog It will never make sense nor will spending 50B for each sub, none of which are likely to ever see any live action.

Nuclear energy is safe enough for our sailors in Australia and to spend ~$400B on 8 submarines, but the same technology is not safe enough to lift the ban on nuclear to power generations with clean electricity. Make it make sense.

@its_The_Dr Tiny

What would you name him.