Ron

@RodgersKipembe He was waiting for you to go tell him I suppose.

Uhuru Kenyatta could not convince Dangote to build a oil refinery in Kenya. What was he doing for 10 years?

@Jacemuthui Now go to the nearest hospital and get checked for HIV or such infections because you deserve them.

I was that idiot. Caught my girl cheating red-handed, forgave her, then moved her straight into my apartment so I could “protect the relationship.” Yesterday I told her I was running to the corner shop for milk and bread. Drove two blocks, parked, then sprinted back

@MisterAlbie I foresee the same for the new hotel in Nakuru with a flamingo theme.

Kwani Mary Wambui fell out with Ruto?

@Briankariu @owinojakom @markmchuma Some of us just like nice stuff and well lit cars, nothing much. During service, we also do maintenance for our panoramic roofs.

@owinojakom @markmchuma Tbh, tell me why men get sunroof cars.. Definitely not to get a tan

I will never own a sunroof car. It will show you shege whether you like it or not. Something about our dust clogs up the overflow tube and the sunroof rails. Sunroof is just a heavier, less reliable, security risk option just to impress women.

@Nguchezkennedy @thekenyatimes Hizo chopper anaongelelea at Wilson ni za Kasongo. He’s just a broker.

@thekenyatimes Ndo maana anasema kutoa kaongo itakuwa ngumu ndo aendelee kukodisha choppers

I’m the only person in Kenya who can get you three Lamborghinis, and I have choppers on standby for hire at Wilson Airport - Ken Mijungu

I can smell a con man when I see one. They talk too much just like the fake forex traders.

@LarryMadowo Oh I thought the fcker was dead.

BREAKING: The son of Uganda’s president - and military chief - Muhoozi Kainerugaba has closed Nation Media Group outlets NTV, Spark TV and Daily Monitor and barricaded their offices, the company says

@A_Njambi Madam, a difference of 4 shillings per liter is just kes.272 of if I were to fill up my tank. Very insignificant amount.

KENYANS, COME HERE REAL QUICK. ASTROL PETROL STATION 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

@RodgersKipembe Si hata wewe ulipigwa picha na Rao na hata Kiti ya MCA pale Meru county huwezi pata?

Huyu ndio anatolewa na RiggyG kweli

@JumaWilkens @ggiste You are advising employed folks while you are jobless? Kenya is not for the faint hearted.

@ggiste At the end you shall have saved 200k providing that you have paid that car loan. Btw 500k can get you a good car without necessarily taking a loan. This is upon fixed saving. Otherwise I am jobless looking for a job. It has not been easy for real. I am a university graduate

My monthly salary is Ksh 800,000. I am a mother of 3. After tax and other deductions,I take home Ksh 532,792. I currently live in Kileleshwa. This was my first job. I started with a salary of Ksh 120,000 in 2017 and I have grown over time. I would like to know how to manage my cash. There is something I am not understanding. These are my expenses: Rent per month:Ksh 150,000 House Help:Ksh20,000 Tithe:Ksh10,000 Fuel:Ksh40,000 Food+ shopping:Ksh50,000 Car loan:Ksh 120,000 Wi-fi/electricity and others:Ksh 20,000 Fee:Ksh 100,000 per month roughly Ohers:Ksh50,000 My expenses are always Ksh 500,000 to Ksh600,000. I have reached a point I feel that my life isn't changing. I honestly want to change how I spend the money and at least save Ksh200,000 per month. What are the best adjustments I should make? From Margrate

@_MtuTano I don’t like Abuya but they are saying you should pick your son

Wewe na hio Nissan note yako ya taxi your kids will never brag imagine😭😭😭nahurumia tubuya. Kamoja katakuwa mwizi, kengine mama mboga, kengine mtu wa nduthi😭😭😭kwanza usinikumbushe ulidishi mama tubuya kakiwa underage. Mathafaka 😒😒😒

@VictorNyakund10 Stop comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel. Move at your own pace, make choices that fit your reality, and remember: true wealth isn’t just money, it’s also peace of mind.

I'd take a Toyota Crown RS over a Mercedes C200 any day, especially when they're in the same price range. With the Crown, I'm getting reliability, comfort, refinement, and far fewer trips to the mechanic. It delivers a premium driving experience without the premium maintenance headaches. The C200 is a beautiful machine, no doubt, but German engineering can be demanding once the warranty period is long gone. 😅 For me, peace of mind is part of luxury and Toyota has mastered that art.

@LevelQue @VictorNyakund10 That’s a fuckn cheapskate you are hyping.

@VictorNyakund10 A friend use to earn 700K/800K p.m and was renting a 17k 2 bedroom in Zimmerman Roysambu.

Earning 180K net and paying half of it on rent to signal status. Sometimes, it is not an income problem, it's a spending problem. Assume he has been paying 90K for 5yrs. That is a whooping 5.4M spent on rent alone. If he swallowed his pride and rented a 40K apartment which is still decent and save 50K monthly, he could have saved 3M over years plus any accrued interest payments could make it Ksh4M. Financial illiteracy is costly in the wrong run!

@WilliamsRuto At some point, common sense has to clock in for duty. Because gambling with people’s lives for quick wins and photo ops is not visionary leadership , it’s the political equivalent of cooking chapati on a petrol station forecourt and hoping for the best.

International solidarity is vital, particularly in times of multiple crises. As a key regional gateway, financial hub, and host to major international organisations, Kenya remains vigilant and committed to swift, coordinated action to protect regional health security following the Ebola outbreak in neighbouring countries. At State House, Nairobi, I met Ambassadors, development partners, multilateral agencies, and key stakeholders to apprise them of Kenya’s preparedness, exchange views on the regional situation, and mobilise collective action to contain the spread of the Ebola Virus Disease. I am pleased that surveillance and screening measures have been intensified across 26 Points of Entry, with more than 58,000 travellers screened and all suspected cases tested so far returning negative. In addition, 17 isolation centres have been identified across the country. We are also mobilising support with development partners for affected countries and frontline response institutions, including the World Health Organization, the Africa Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, and the United Nations system, to strengthen surveillance, emergency response and healthcare preparedness, laboratory systems, and cross-border coordination. I appreciate the representatives from the United States, the United Kingdom, the European Union, France, Germany, China, Japan, India, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia, Ethiopia, Türkiye, the United Nations Office at Nairobi, and the United Nations Resident Coordinator’s Office for their presence and commitment to this important national, regional, and global endeavour. We agreed on the importance of cooperation and avoiding isolationism, recognising that public health threats do not respect borders and require coordinated regional and global action. Kenya will continue to act transparently, responsibly, and decisively to protect lives while contributing to regional and global health security. The Government will establish a National Response Committee under the leadership of the Prime Cabinet Secretary and Cabinet Secretary for Foreign and Diaspora Affairs to coordinate a whole-of-government and whole-of-society response, strengthen public awareness and preparedness, and mobilise the technical and financial resources necessary to address any eventualities arising from the Ebola outbreak.

@dklaston I know man. Mine is also well loved but I’d trade it in for this without a second thought just because it’s a 2.5L inline 6 and I don’t like the panoramic roof.

@Ron_Stifler They should ignore the haters

A friend is selling his 2009 BMW X3 20d Xdrive with the N47 2 liter Diesel. Mileage is at 135,000Km. DPF and EGR Delete Done. Upgraded 19inch Alloy Wheels. Upgraded Radio with Wireless Carplay Asking: Ksh. 1.3M 0727526576

@MisterAlbie I will personally participate

Its already set up

@MiskellahMD Weweni nugu mkosa akili.

For a counseling psychologist,you are too uncouth and uncultured. I PITY YOUR PATIENTS who have to suffer the wrath of your intolerance.

@Mercymasai3 Bitch it’s woman rep not ‘women rep’

Watu wangu wa Kajiado chama mnasema twende na gani 2027 for Women rep position 🤗?

@_MtuTano Be guided mate.

This is why I don't have a kid yet. These are grounds for a divorce. As a mom, why can't you teach your kid to stop touching people's things??🤔🤔