Roxanne Kilbourne

Serious question: does the Vanderpump cast still have to roll silverware?

@IM_DREWish LESS THAN 3 MONTHS LIL DADDYYYY

@Sedmach This physically upsets me

Just saw a guy riding on the hood of a car and my boyfriend pointed and said calmly “there’s a guy riding on the hood of that car” as if there wasn’t just a FUCKIN GUY RIDING ON THE HOOD OF A CAR.

About to see #Scream6 and the energy in this theater is very much giving Scream 2

@TimothypLong Holy shit

Aldi is releasing a line of gear on 3/22. Hope the bucket hat has a pocket for my quarter

Capitalism = Instagram Socialism = Vine Me = not entirely sober

@tweeter_daddy @eightysixedkid A truly timeless classic

explaining how Out Cold is just Casablanca to @eightysixedkid over drinks in an airport Mexican cantina

A great man once tweeted “I just ate a donut, yolo”. Thank you, @TimothypLong for inspiring me to get a donut at the airport this morning 🍩

@tweeter_daddy Still my favorite go-to response

"you're speaking in riddles" may not have been the best word choice for this work email just now but it was MY choice and i am standing in my truth.

Hey @AirCanada I’ve contacted you on every platform possible, can someone please get back to me? Bag has been missing since Christmas

@AirCanada hi, it’s been 2 days without any update on a missing bag and your baggage number isn’t taking calls right now, can someone please help?

@DougBenson Doug Henchmen

Doug Benson is a tough name to turn into something scary for the month of Oct. Please suggest something. I’ll adopt the one that gets the most likes. WHAT AN EXCITING CONTEST

It’s wild how that one Skarsgard brother literally got typecast as a cryptid

@Taylor_Parsons @ZakirGhazi REUNION!

@ZakirGhazi Words cannot describe my emotions old pal 🥹

Can they please stop letting super handsome guys play serial murderers?

If the internet has taught me anything it’s that I really need a pair of those giant pasta tweezers if I wanna be taken seriously as a TikTok chef

@ZakirGhazi This is in no way unpopular

I can say with full confidence that a “party submarine” is something I have zero interest in ever experiencing. Actually that goes for submarines in general.