Owen Strachan@ostrachan
This post struck a chord. To elaborate, here are some further shifts I see among men these days--especially some younger men:
1. Rejecting a plastic life. Young men have been sold what I call a "plastic life." They sit on screens all the time. They make nothing real. They engage in fantasy. They watch other men play sports. They are catered to, infantilized, and domesticated. They become wholly indoor creatures, and they have no technical skills, no hard abilities in the real world.
I see young men rejecting all this in a number of ways. They seem to be rediscovering the outside world. The real world. They want to build a life. They know that it is very bad for them to live in Plastic World all the time.
2. Sitting under the Word and gospel. Young men know that their sin has led them into destruction. Many of them have allowed themselves to be consumed by lust. They want purity. They want healing. They want wholeness. They want to know God. They are giving their lives to Christ, turning from sin to faith in the crucified and resurrected Son of God, slain for them.
It's been striking to see many athletes embrace such a life, because athletes were typically the ones who could A) get girls, B) be a player, C) live self-indulgently and selfishly, and D) pay the things of God no mind. This has shifted in recent years; now a good number of male athletes express their faith in God openly. The old model of the Self-Indulgent Jock still exists, but it's not nearly as popular as it used to be among the younger crowd.
3. Embracing the physicality of masculinity. Young men have been encouraged to look like women, dress like women, talk like women, act like women, and generally emulate women in every way. Many young men have rejected this of late, and are dressing like men, wanting to grow a beard (if they can), and speaking like men--allowing the depth of their voice to be expressed.
Men have been told to shave their bodies, for example, and look like hairless seals. But younger men seem less ashamed of having a masculine body. Beyond how they look, they want to do masculine tasks and learn masculine jobs. Those who make this move will benefit, no doubt, as physically-active jobs will not be replaced by AI in days ahead (as some white-collar jobs will be).
At the gym, men are lifting. Men want to get in shape. Men are tired of the effects of eating endless junk food, having no diet discipline, and feeling like a slob. Men want to embody something of Viking physicality; they want to pursue strength, push their body to be strong, and overcome obstacles. They have been sold a no-goal life, where there is nothing to strive for, nothing to work toward, nothing to gain that is tangible. They are pushing away from this.
4. Being honest about emotions. Even as it is encouraging to see men embrace physical discipline, it is encouraging as well to see men speak openly about emotional challenges. The younger generation is less likely to stifle their emotions in a really unhealthy way, as previous generations of men did. The younger generation has seen men who "spoke" only the emotional language of fighting, abusing women and children, and drinking to black-out. The younger generation does not want this, and rightly so.
The younger generation will talk honestly and authentically about what they are feeling. This is positive. They are able to "speak" an emotional language that helps them communicate hurt, anger, loneliness, sadness, and pain. We need them to speak this language, because learning to do so is part of not attacking people, not blowing stuff up, not getting into raging fights with one's children, and not destroying families. Can "emotional health" be silly in a goofy therapeutic way? Absolutely. But is it good for men to engage their emotions in a self-controlled, honest, and God-centered way? It surely is.
5. Wanting to treat women well. As noted, many young men have grown up in broken homes. They have gotten fathoms deep in pornographic content, seemingly powerless to stop themselves. In their homes, they have watched as their father did not treat their mother well. They have seen what an out-of-control temper can do, and they have felt the horrific effects of a man inflicting his own sinful pain on others.
On this count, I think of how the MMA fighter Sean Strickland (no Sunday School teacher, we note) spoke to Theo Von on Von's podcast of how Strickland's father abused his mother. As a young man, Strickland put himself between his abusive dad and his mom, saving his mom's life. Speaking about it, Strickland broke down. It was one of the most authentic moments I've seen regarding a man's courageous action in the face of terrible brokenness. Strickland's pain clearly has not healed; we pray for him to know the peace of Christ.
That kind of experience--or some similar form--has left many young men aware of their inborn capacity for brutality. Such violence is not "cool" to them, as it can be for boys from sheltered homes. The experience of it has left many young men wanting to learn to treat women well. This is not "simping"; it is a genuine desire to use one's manly strength for good, not evil. Many young men want to do better than their fathers and grandfathers did; they want to stay married; they want to build with a woman they love. Listen to country music if you deny the commonality of this desire in red-blooded men.
Pornography has cut through young men like a scythe through wheat. It has warped their brains and corrupted their souls. Young men know this, increasingly. Because they have tasted the bitter fruits of a pornified brain, the younger generation wants to move on from the old ways. The broken ways. I'm hopeful that they will, finding direction from the work and example of Christ, who "nourishes and cherishes" his bride, the church (Eph. 5:29).
6. Seeking brotherhood and avoiding loneliness. Younger men seem to know that they need friends. They need brothers. They need help. They are quicker to admit this than my generation is, or previous generations are. This is in part because they have felt the darkness of loneliness. They know that it is no good thing to get lost online. They need real relationships.
This is why many of them are going to church. They want to talk to people. If born again, they want fellowship. They recognize that there is little that is genuinely "social" about "social media." They are choosing instead to pursue reality and real-world personhood. This is good, because a crucial part of being a human is engaging with other humans for extended periods of time. Talking. Laughing. Sorting things out. Joking. Debating.
Young men seem to be rediscovering such pleasures once more.
7. Fighting evil rather than staying silent. There is a disposition today to speak up against evil rather than staying quiet. To use one's strength against the wicked to protect the innocent. To put oneself between evil and one's loved ones. All these instincts are good, and right, and God-given.
Young men have to learn self-control, which is strength under discipline. They have to figure out when to be aggressive and when to turn that switch off. Because many young men have had no opportunity to learn this balance, they struggle. They are in fight mode all the time. It makes sense that this is so, because they have been told that their aggression is all bad, when it is not.
These young men need to learn to be men of war when they need to be, and men of peace much of the rest of the time. I believe that they will, many of them. But for now, I am thankful that they have the instinct to speak up, to stand up, and to put themselves on the line. Many of them were inspired, and rightly so, by Charlie Kirk.
We shall see what these young men become. But for now, it is enough to note that the world is shifting, and many young men today are in a different place than they were just a few years ago. Let us pray for them, and ask God to save them and mature them and use them for his glory.