Ry4an Brase is gone

@ShortSleeveSuit He gets what he deserves with a name that stupid.

#A2Council none of the houses with “yes on c/d” signs we passed tonight were giving out candy. Most of the “no” sign houses were. Are the mayor & his allies trying to buy the children’s votes?

The lamestream media wants you to think “the economy is good,” but wave after wave of children has rung my doorbell begging for free candy tonight

Popular Halloween costumes this year amongst #a2council Prop C and Prop D supporters: - not a landlord - progressive democrat #playingdressup

When the proponents of Ann Arbor Props C & D describes the most diverse Council in 200 years as “just looks” and suggests they are “owned,” you realize why the Ann Arbor NAACP rejected the measures, too. #a2council 1/2

Tupperware after you put spaghetti in it

my high school spent a semester teaching me how to take care of a baby and a semester teaching me about the French Revolution and I don't think any of us could have predicted which one of those semesters was actually preparing me for my adult life

@pennydillo 💯

@Ry4an yeah! one of my favorite shows of all time. letsgoooo

@pennydillo I'm pretty sure you first turned me on to mystery show.

If someone in Australia cuts down a tree on public land to improve the view from their house, the local government will install a sign to block that view again

Last year I sent my kid a serialized story as letters to him summer camp based on the Hatfield/McCoy feud, and I think this year I'm going to try to do House of Leaves.

The situation with Biden reminds me of when I have to spend five minutes getting my dog to let go of a shoe, then give her a treat for being such a good girl.

Our dog's fear of fireworks is for us. If we're all in bed she's fine with fireworks, but if we're anywhere else, she's freaking out about our safety and barking at us until we get in bed. It would be cute if we didn't want to, you know, stay up and watch the fireworks.

@GuyDealership "as if millions of dot matrix printers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced"

BREAKING: CDK Global says cyber attack ‘likely to last a couple of days’. Over 50% of U.S. dealerships are currently shut down or attempting to engage in extremely creative workarounds. Crazy reality.

My 16 year old doesn't think she's ever going to need to open a can. The post apocalypse is not going to go well.

@RickDeckard2049 We've determined that the brush is a cursed item. We threw the handle and bristles away last night, and this morning it was intact and back in a drawer. No one remembers buying it.

@Ry4an Can you just put the bristles back in after this?

It takes 1.5 hours to remove the bristles of a hair brush, one at a time, while it's tangled in someone's hair.

@RickDeckard2049 Because suggestions to "just cut it out" were not well received.

@dnsimple asdf

@dadrian @akgood

@Ry4an Oh god chunks are coming @akgood

I'm coming home from this (one) dog walk with two refuse bags and just convinced myself that "HTTP chunked encoding" is a more accurate but less funny joke than "two phase commit". This industry has ruined me as a person.