Ryan Ackerman

College girls’ houses are so weird. Like they have real decorations that aren’t stolen road signs wtf

Imagine being Spencer Petras in class every day of the week. I actually feel bad for the guy.

@J_Voss66 They’ll be confused wondering who Brandon could possibly be

The thing I’m looking forward to the most at the first Iowa Football game September 3rd is starting a “Let’s Go Brandon!” chant in the crowd. It’ll be so epic and will own all the LIBSHARTS in Iowa City.

Working from home Pros: Don’t spend money on gas, relaxing work environment, get more done Cons: I have no idea what to do with my life. No reason to be anywhere. Do I stay where I am? Move home? Randomly start a new life across the country???

Can @costco build apartments above their grocery stores so I can just live there and survive off of $1.50 hotdog/drink combos

If you’re working an office job and your company doesn’t let you work remote… they’re basically just robbing you of your time and money. This month: ~$200 gas saved ~30 hours of my life back between getting up early to get ready and driving to and from work every day.

@foxymama110 Complex af

If her LinkedIn game is weak, I don’t want her

Only eat Little Caesar’s pizza every single day

How I’m going to become a millionaire before the age of 35 —THREAD—

@zoeloft17 No women are into @Jake_Day11 you should hit him up

I have absolutely zero interest in men that straight cis women are into

@ZMilks If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying #EveryDayIsCheatDay

@Ryan_Ack 1 day on, 6 days off, repeat. 🔑

I don’t know if you heard, but I’ve been on a diet for one day now. You guys are so screwed

@peterabbit25 Bank teller probably

@Ryan_Ack What job should you have to post snaps of fanning money

Dudes will be posting snap stories fanning out money like we don’t know they work at the Casey’s down the road.

@Jake_Day11 It’s Sales 101

It’s going to be crazy in the future when our Snapchat memories say…. “15 years ago today” and it’s just you blacked out on the floor somewhere

Might crack a Mtn Dew Code Red and just see where the night takes me

@MarthaRosey Filling those buckets with sand and making a sand castle

@mckennaeckenrod @SchroppItLow_ Stop looking at my account my tweets were fire in ‘18

@crashbandiKort @BIGBABYSCUMBAG @TristanWirfs78 Sweet T freestyle

@Ryan_Ack @BIGBABYSCUMBAG @TristanWirfs78 @BIGBABYSCUMBAG what do we have to do to get a @TristanWirfs78 freestyle rap? Best lineman in the damn country