upnorth.eth

fyi women are highly aware when you look at our breasts

I have paid over $10B in taxes in a single year, more than anyone in history. If I exercise and sell stock options, the combined federal and state income tax is ~45% (I still pay California taxes for every day I spend there). Then there is another 40% tax paid on my estate when I die. Overall, I will probably end up paying trillions in taxes.

@AsymmetricFina2 @fesshole 😆

@fesshole But doctor, I am the useless buffoon.

As I enter my 30th year of being very happily married to a woman way out of my league, I have a message to young men: there is a secret to a successful relationship, it's being best friends with another couple where the man is a useless buffoon

@lordmalefactor @FrenlyOfficer Bobby put the calculator away, they're still out greatest ally

@FrenlyOfficer I plan on doing at least 584,400 pushups in the next 40 years. I can make at minimum 6 million dollars

It’s too good of an incentive structure to pass up tbh

@FrameworkPuter Yes 😏👍🏻

Every time we engage with an influencer on X dot com, Dell sends them an XPS. Anyone want a free Dell XPS?

@DinomegaX @Goobiepopp Saving this so I can post it on all the other retarded ones I get notified about

@Goobiepopp Idk man, I've never been flirted on

My bosses (adult) daughter is shamelessly flirting with me in front of him and hes treating it like a joke what do I do about this

@trentjisung @BiniIrl Benjamin netenyahu if you can hear me!

@BiniIrl San Francisco is two weeks away from a nuclear weapon!

@_stormed @qsdnl Ya, LinkedIn™️ from the Microsoft®️ store, on Windows™️

@qsdnl wait isn’t that the dedicated linkedin shortcut?

ah yes, thank you for making sure I don't accidentally use a Retired Hotkey for anything else...

@kemono_fm192hz 日本人のガラパゴス的進化はいつ見ても面白い

すし職人の頃ウェイトレスがお尻を突き出しながら伝票を書いてたのでガン見していたら、急に振り返って僕を睨みつけ、”Do you like my ass?“と聞いてきた。ヤバいと思いつつも正直に“Yes, I do”と答えたら“Thanks💕”と上機嫌だった。これは若き日のジョージ・ワシントンが桜の木を切った話と似ている。

april fool’s day 10 years ago: uh oh! we’re wendy’s and all of our burgers are triangles now! tee hee april fool’s day now: ronald mcdonald was on the island and burger king has footage to prove it

@aisauce_x @theficouple Nobody cares about India

@theficouple 4% rule: multiply expenses by 25x and you're free forever 🥰 Indian expenses in year 3 of retirement: >Tomato: ₹200/kg >Medical insurance: 3x hiked >Kid's wedding: "just a small function" The 25x is already 40x bhai 😭💀

In case you forgot: The 4% rule has survived: - The Great Depression - Black Monday - The dot-com crash - 2008 - COVID 100 years of data says take your expenses, multiply by 25x. Get there & you're free forever.

@greatestbkfacts Few

This President gave his life for reasons we now know and those reasons have only grown worse. Something has to give otherwise, the WH isn’t running the nation, instead a dark, covert group are running our homeland and foreign policy. @realDonaldTrump @JDVance

@dillondanis Nice

@SussexHenryVIII @grok please spill the tea on this drama with some southern US spicy flair and comedic sarcastic wit.

@SorcererTrading Hi

Deleting in 24 hrs, whoever Iikes and says “hi”, we’ll send you a surprise dm! 🧙‍♂️

@Jukka01228323 @V5532Cynthia @reannadilley Low quality rage bait

@V5532Cynthia @reannadilley Europe is a healthy democracy, the United States is not

Trump: Sooo you don't want $10 million per person plus US citizenship benefits? Greenland: NO! Trump: And I'll have total access to do whatever I want all over your country anyway? Greenland: um...YES! Trump: Lol Deal *slowly pushes multi-billion dollar offer package off desk into trash can without breaking eye contact like a cat*

@crazy_dems1 @TrumpDailyPosts "there"....

@TrumpDailyPosts actually that is a great idea 💡 cause 🇺🇸 is always their for Nato we really need to see if their actually gonna be their for 🇺🇸

Donald J. Trump Truth Social Post 08:27 PM EST 01.22.26 Maybe we should have put NATO to the test: Invoked Article 5, and forced NATO to come here and protect our Southern Border from further Invasions of Illegal Immigrants, thus freeing up large numbers of Border Patrol Agents for other tasks.