too opinionated

🚨SAD NEWS🚨 Scott Adams ex-wife and caretaker Shelly Miles has passed away. Miles took care of Adams during his final days. The circumstances surrounding her death are unknown. Her family is asking for privacy during this difficult time.

@ZubyMusic I didn’t like Mondays until I liked my job. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I actually like Mondays. Surely, I'm not alone?

@MikeBales lol what type of event starts at 10pm unless you’re in college and planning to get blitzed

Mike got invited to an event at 10pm on Tuesday. Mike is 57 years old. Is Mike going?

@musings_blonde Cat. Other. 🙌🏻

My son needs some help with his homework. Please comment — favorite fruit and types of pets. Thank you!

@AJamesMcCarthy @elonmusk I will not. I have no desire to be jettisoned into space 🤣

Mark my words, I will take a photo like this in my lifetime. You might, too.

@ThrillaRilla369 On my bike as a kid in 80’s South Jersey and a couple of goats ran out of someone’s yard after me. I don’t remember being scared so they must have been far enough away that I knew I could outpace them 🤣

Everyone have a story about a dog, rooster, or goat chasing them during childhood 🐔 🐶 🐐 Tell me I’m wrong

@GovernorVA I’ve found during my time on earth that there is a pretty big difference between healthcare and murder. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Virginia is the only state in the South that hasn’t restricted women’s reproductive rights since the Dobbs decision. And under my watch, it will stay that way.
 
In Virginia, healthcare decisions about contraception, fertility treatments, and reproductive care will continue to be made between women and their doctors — not by politicians. That’s a promise I’ve made, and it’s a promise I intend to keep.

@ColbyMannionNJ Deportations + SAVE act 🤷🏻‍♀️

New Jersey, how do we fix this?

@robbystarbuck The Hennessy is hilarious 😂

"AI will level humanity up and take us to new heights. We’ll cure cancer and have flying cars!" How humans actually use AI ⬇️💀😂

@TiffaniMarie483 My kids are 10 and 6 and this kind of thing still goes on 😩

My 5yo son will just declare “I win” and my 3yo son will lose it and scream “but I want to win” I’m not entirely sure what to do about this.

@Symply_rhoda1 Heartburn gone instantly.

When you give birth...Do you feel immediate relief like, you're not pregnant anymore ? Obviously you're probably not gonna feel back to normal but is there any type of relief ?

@IfindRetards For sure anything in Hollywood…

Besides politicians, which profession attracts the most retards?

@omgsidewalks Elon started it

We actually had an incredible opportunity to make remote work the global standard, and we blew it. What really happened? Why did so many companies go back to the office?

@heyekp Indiana haha

I will always be salty over the fact that my all time favorite baby boy name feels off limits bc I married into a family where there have been multiple dogs already with the same name

@historigins His stand up comedy is hilarious you could check it out.

Everything was good until I realized this man has an IQ of 178 and a master degree in electrical engineering from Oxford University

@JayCostaUSA Ok let’s see what SCOTUS has to say.

🚨 WOW - NJ Governor Mikie Sherrill just stated that she plans on REDISTRICTING the State of New Jersey to make it EVEN MORE BLUE! Most of the country thinks that New Jersey is an ALL BLUE state, but all you need to do is LIVE HERE for more than 5 minutes (which is about how long Mrs Sherrill has been here for) to realize that our state has a TON of RED. As of now, New Jersey has 9 Democrats in US Congress and 3 Republicans. If Mrs. Sherrill had her way, it would be 12-0! Even though over 60% of New Jersey is NOT registered with the Democrat Party, Mrs. Sherrill wants us to have ZERO representation! This has happened in the ENTIRE region of New England, where even though many of those states have MILLIONS of registered Republicans, they have ZERO representation in Congress. NOT HAPPENING! Behind Enemy Lines, indeed. Keep Fighting 🇺🇸

@MCarbonaraFL Once his term is over we need him to move to NJ and run for gov here 🤣

🚨 WOW: FL has BANNED the oppressive Sharia Law statewide. Well done, Gov. DeSantis.

@1Nicdar I mean after all that she should have just kept it in her trunk 🤣

Shopper: I like this buggy, mine now. Buggy: Not today Felicia.

The Secret Service dog is a good boy.

@data_republican My hairdresser wants to break up with one of her clients, I feel like that’s even worse 🤣

Something guys will never understand: the angst women have when it's time to break up with their hairdresser.