sean

A couple of years ago I was about to propose to my girlfriend. Ring in hand. Speech prepared. Everything ready. My roommate Joseph burst through the door out of nowhere, tripped over absolutely nothing, and fell face first through a glass table. Me: (ring still in hand) Me: (staring at Joseph on the floor) Me: (staring at the shattered table) Me: (staring at my girlfriend) Mood: gone. Joseph got a large piece of glass in his eye. Was walking around with a cotton pad over it for two months. I put the proposal on hold and helped him through the whole thing because that's what you do. Then one day Joseph was gone. My girlfriend was also gone. Together. Apparently they bonded during his recovery. Eloped without leaving a single note. I tried to find them. Never could. So if you've ever wondered why I'm not married right now. It's because if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from. Where did you go. Where did you come from cotton eye Joe.

The final rocket launch in October Sky (1999) always creates this huge wave of relief afterward. Spending the whole movie watching Homer fight against his town, his future and even his own father makes that last launch feel deeply personal.

@MySportsUpdate @Bengals Let’s get it

#Bengals QB Joe Burrow says this team is the most talented roster they’ve had since he entered the NFL, and that includes the team that made the Super Bowl in 2021. Burrow also said throwing 48 TDs, which would break the all-time franchise record, is “doable.” (🎥 @Bengals)

@mvpwizz Damn. This is lame as hell.

@MLFootball Baltimore fans super salty about this. Charmin fanbase.

WILD: THE #BENGALS COOKED THE #RAVENS FOR BACKING OUT OF THE MAXX CROSBY TRADE IN THEIR SCHEDULE RELEASE VIDEO. “WE’RE DIVISION RIVALS, YOU CAN’T BACK OUT OF THIS ONE.” Baltimore is the biggest joke in the league right now.

@JamesRapien @joe0743

OOH MAN. The Bengals took a shot at the Ravens in their schedule release video They show Joe Burrow hugging Maxx Crosby as the narrator says “We’re division rivals, you can’t back out of this one.” 😏🤣😅

For the Week 7 game against the Ravens, the Bengals schedule release video shows Joe Burrow hugging Maxx Crosby, with the narrator saying “We’re division rivals, you can’t back out of this one” 🫣🫣🍿🍿

@TweetBrennan @MikeDardisWLWT @char_cliff @WLWT @Bengals Dude, same. Been waiting eight years. What a bummer.

@MikeDardisWLWT @char_cliff @WLWT NOOOO 😭😭😭 my biggest fear confirmed as an ATL-based @Bengals fan.. looks like I’ll be waiting another 8 years to see them play here.. unless they play here in February in 2028 of course (Super Bowl)

Breaking: The Bengals are headed overseas! Expect an announcement from the team within the next hour… Joe Burrow and the guys will be headed to Madrid to take on the Falcons. It’ll be either week six or week nine… But it is a done deal. Watch @WLWT News 5 beginning at 4pm

Pretty crazy the Bengals are spending $276 million on Ja'Marr Chase and Tee Higgins and the Browns went out and basically grabbed the same guys in the draft last month #DawgPound

HERE YOU GO

I’m a Ravens fan but I can say with confidence that the Bengals had one of the best offseasons of any team. I don’t have to like it to admit it. I don’t have to hate because they’re a rival. Acting like this isn’t a massive improvement for that defense (also added Cook at safety) just makes you look like you don’t know ball. If Burrow stays healthy I see them as AFC contenders

@LndsPatterson Makes me miss Tyler Boyd. What a baller.

coffee and joe burrow highlights

@noducksoverhere @EAB_740 Yep. & those late career injuries. Bummer.

@EAB_740 Red rifle tarnished AJ Green’s legacy

It’s pretty funny that everyone talks about Julio Jones being a generational WR prospect completely forgetting he wasn’t even the best WR prospect in his own draft class and wasn’t even the best for the first 5 years of his career. That honor belongs to AJ Green.

@JoeGoodberry I notice you didn’t deny the original claim that you made the picks for the Bengals today.

People are mad at me if the Bengals have a bad draft and others are mad at me if they have a good draft. Can't win with the crazies.

@SharpFootball @JUSTERIC__

The Bengals didn’t have a first-round draft pick, but they made their mid and late-round picks count. They received tremendous value with their Round 6 and Round 7 picks. Cincinnati took two centers in the 2026 draft, both later than expected. In addition, they added a tight end much later than expected: C Connor Lew – expected at 76, taken at 128 C Brian Parker II – expected at 111, taken at 188 TE Jack Endries – expected at 128, taken at 220 There were a few reaches earlier in the draft (WR Colbie Young, CB Tacario Davis), but the vast majority of the Bengals selections gave them solid DCOE. And as a result, the Bengals ranked above average in DCOE for the first time since 2023.

best value 2026 NFL draft classes 1. Commanders 2. Panthers 3. Colts 4. Bengals 5. Jets 6. Giants 7. Buccaneers 8. Raiders 9. Falcons 10. Chiefs see pic for 1-32 plus methodology READ FULL ANALYSIS: sharpfootballanalysis.com/analysis/2026-… team-by-team & round-by-round analysis to follow 🧵

@DarthNoobSaibot Shit best follow of the weekend. Keep calling that Green Bay reporter “Mr. Bukkake”. Gets me every time.

If we had taken Chandler Rivers earlier I would be the most annoying (if I'm not already) follow this weekend.

@AdamSchefter Hell yeah. Go be great.

When the wait came to an end for Jermod McCoy:

The hype is starting to build 👀 @bykevinclark is a genius clearly. #whodey