Dad’s Mad

@sappholives83 Electric chair

This is truly — and I mean truly — some budding serial killer sh!t right here. This is some of the most sexually violating behavior I have ever seen, and I spent 2 years working sex crimes.

Every time I go to Best Buy I look for the alien my dad taped to the ceiling 20 years ago when he worked there. Still going strong

@Shawnochieng @Bart2187 @kilam2u He was antagonizing him for an internet prank for likes. I’da pulled out on that loser too

@Bart2187 @kilam2u He was not antagonizing what are you talking about that man came up respectfully and said hey can I ask you a question. You think that’s antagonizing your the problem.

much respect for bro. to pull nd cock the gun and still deescalate, commendable for sure.

@ywomendeservles At least she has a conscious 😭

Deep dish

@MissingnoMan @scotchandbbq @SpencerAlthouse He’s never once been funny lol

@scotchandbbq @SpencerAlthouse This was funny? All he did was make up some stuff in a goofy voice.

Aziz Ansari just appeared as Kash Patel on SNL, and they went innnnn on him "I'm a trailblazer. I'm the first Indian person to suck at their job. Everyone says Indian people are smart, hardworking, incredibly intelligent. I prove without a shadow of a doubt that we can be just as incapable and incompetent as the whites."

@amithearsehole If I only had one bathroom in my house and it was in the bedroom no one would be staying with me lol sorry bro figure it out

AITA for telling my wife to stop sleeping with her boobs naked?

I feel like Michael Jackson should've had a gangster grillz

@heyitsrosexx @Jani__Gee First post on your shit negates everything you just typed lol

if he already has the mortgage covered and still asks you for rent he's not looking for a partner.. he's looking for subsidized lifestyle. charging your girl rent to build your equity is just a financial scam disguised as splitting responsibilities. if there's no ring and no legal stake in the property you aren't building a life together. you're just a roommate with benefits who's funding his retirement plan

This legitimately makes me skin crawl.

@Jani__Gee Why? Genuinely asking

@HereC57131 @onlydubsX Yet here you are criticizing the ppl with kids..?

@onlydubsX I didn't have kids and I am sooooo happy I didn't!! :) People who have kids criticize the childfree out of jealously. To the people who have kids, better luck in the next life! 🤣

Seth Rogen explains why he doesn’t want children, saying it seems like a dark, stressful life with small moments of joy, adding how much he enjoys life without them 👀🤔 “You don’t need kids.” “The world won’t even be here in 30 years.”

@omgsidewalks @HamHock42 That’s lame I just be crankin hog

Actually, you misunderstand the purpose of the long shower. I'm not doing anything in there. I am literally staring into nothingness and using the sensory input of falling water to temporarily wash away some of the horror of corporeal human life.

@pfaffphobic @Skoog @nfb_snitter

I didn’t see a single “it’s gonna be May” meme this year which is personally a massive relief, but culturally a signifier of something much darker.

@MisterIneffable @alphafox Oh man forgot about this fucking guy! I laughed til I cried at this shit when I was like 13-14. Good call man memory unlocked 😭

@alphafox This guy wielding nunchucks has more skill than she does, enough said.

Woman wins blackbelt of the year by destroying balsa wood:

IT WAS CALLED THE SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIR AND THEY BROUGHT THE BOOKS TO THE SCHOOL AND SET IT UP LIKE A BOOKSTORE AND YOU COULD GET GOOSEBUMPS AND FEAR STREET BOOKS BUT ALSO MICHAEL JORDAN POSTERS AND NICKELODEON BOOKMARKS AND PENCILS THAT SMELLED LIKE CUPCAKES

@Jack_Norris0 Hoping this is satire

Am actually crying man the dating scene has never been worse😭😭😭

@GraceGym_ That’s not an omelette 🤦🏻‍♂️

Egg Flower Omelette 🍳Recipe

Met a guy who got a DUI during his driver's ed test

@mondaystufx Indonesia. You’re a dude and a weirdo and blocked

BRO this is actually INSANE… looks so fun

@Quamclips Lmfao

@WallStreetApes So then it’ll be $5 in the drive thru right? Fucking idiot lol

Starbucks CEO defends a cup of coffee costing $9 He says the customers needs to just not think about it as a $9 cup of coffee, you’re paying for the “experience” of getting a Starbucks coffee “In some cases a $9 experience does feel like you're splurging, and then what that means is we have to make it worthwhile.” He says Starbucks customers “want to have a special experience and regardless of what your income level is, in some cases, a $9 experience does feel like you're splurging — well, this is a really affordable premium experience” How out of touch could a person possibly be…