Stephanie Ortiz

*watching husband sleep* Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-" *husband snores* Me: "I can't live like this."

Me: *laughing* "That was funny, wasn't it??" 8y.o: *giggling* "Wow... I haven't had a good laugh like that in YEARS."

It’s sunny, blue-skied, and the last vestige of snow from weeks ago is finally melting…. …cue two more feet tomorrow. I hate this place.

Very proud of my son & his team- Division I CAA champions this year, & still working hard. Please donate in John Ortiz’s name if you are willing. Thanks. ❤️ givecampus.com/schools/Hofstr…

@Eden_Eats Cheese.

Can anyone recommend a good substance to abuse?

@Corbienest I still remember the distinct bubble popping sound they used- miss that show!

@Six_Pack_Mom I’d love to see it for some of the newer music videos

My most boomer take is: Bring back pop-up video

I was 11 when Beck said “forces of evil in a bozo nightmare” and I didn’t get it but now I’m like “so true, king 🙏🏼”.

Good morning! Did I stay up way too late on the last night before work after the winter break? Yes. Did I still manage to wake up on time for work this morning? No.

Ever have a moment where your online search results make your brain melt? Me too. sixpackmom.com/ai-ads-tag

The nonsense I've put up with, as recollected by an eyewitness. (And yes, we DID eventually find the perp... or the perp CHOSE to self-disclose their guilt...). sixpackmom.com/captain-crunch…

I was going to wear a scary costume to take the kids trick or treating, then realized going as a mom with 6 kids is terrifying enough.

@devin2065 They look spectacular. I covet them.

@Six_Pack_Mom They’re not wrong 🤦🏻‍♂️

Me: “Wow, I LOVE the way the neighbors trimmed their hedges; we should try that!” 13y.o *long pause*: “Being an adult sounds so sad sometimes.”

Adulthood is 40% stressing about bills, 30% complaining about how tired you are, 20% not wanting to go to work to pay said bills, & 10% having a sore back or neck at all times. And it 100% blows.

@WilliamsLu47853 He really seemed to be living his best life, so maybe he's onto something....

The man sitting next to me on a stationary bike at the gym has been watching the TV for 20 minutes, & hasn't pedaled once. He's also eating Doritos. I think I just found my new workout buddy. And maybe my soulmate.

Wednesday just feels like a middle Monday.

@Teebsnh3 Well played....!

@Six_Pack_Mom I found it was just easier to redefine crush. 🙃

"I'm gonna crush it this morning!" Spoiler Alert: She did not crush it this morning. She left late with her hair still wet, spilled coffee in her lap, rage-cursed through traffic, and will crush it instead tomorrow. Maybe.

The 90’s weren’t perfect but they were way better than all this crap.