Kill Dill: Volume 1

Fart blew both my legs clean off

I don’t get the hate for Alien 3 it’s a good movie specially the directors cut

My insurance won’t cover my CPAP machine anymore because they say, “it looks like someone tried to put coney dog sauce in the water tank.”

@ChrispyHargrave Deal

@Solidus_Mantis I’ll give you two if you shut the fuck up

Went for a walk and found a dollar

Farting in the recliner

Using a cheese grater to scratch my balls

My cock itches

never talk crap about mr bean ever again bruh

Poop came out like silly string

Get me out of this 1970 follower purgatory

Peeing my pants at Wendy’s to assert dominance

It’s unfair that I never lived in a time when tattoos were affordable

Pretending all marvel movies are bad is more tacky and cringe than avengers endgame being your favorite movie

Realizing I’m the problem

ordering mcdonalds when you’re depressed & having a mcbreakdown

Im going to try spam, never ate it before

I wish farts were colored

I’m like the Joker but if he was horny all the time

Let’s hit the oil rig fellas