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I’ve noticed as a mother that there’s a point where your toddler stops looking like a toddler, and starts looking like a freaking child, and I’m not sure when it happened, but it did and I am not okay

@BarstoolPhilly Go birds!

Gameday. Go birds. Say it back.

@NotTodayEric @dadmann_walking I do this already, no shame in my game

Can we please normalize dancing at the grocery store when your song comes on.

Opening up Outlook at work after a 4.5 day weekend is truly something out of a nightmare

It’s gonna be a Meowy Christmas this year

IdolizIng a politician is like believing a stripper likes you.

My mom and dad met through mutual friends at a party, got married, had me and my two brothers. Then my mom cheated on my dad, and then married the man she cheated on my dad with, and had 4 more kids 😀

He just asked me if I’m sad that Michael Jackson died right after this photo was taken

@_Jizzabelle I cannot believe what I just read 😭😭😭

Petition to make people less stupid

one way ticket to see me

@AndBlueWool The fact that I’m up doing my laundry rn too

thanksgiving? you mean my Family Tension Wrapped

Maybe the @Lions will break the thanksgiving curse today 👀 Let’s go Detroit! #DetroitLions #Lions

Making homemade apple butter for the croissants and breads tomorrow. I decided to start it at 3pm today. Only 5 more hours in the crock pot to go 🙃

@MistaBsMomma We may not talk as much anymore but you can always scream into the void to me 🤍

Me bc I only work until 1pm Wednesday and then I’m clocked out until Monday 🤪

All my Floridians let’s all stay safe today ❤️ Helene ain’t no joke #HurricaneHelene

@DIYDisclosure @tulobh I already have authentic stupidity

Would you rather have authentic stupidity or artificial intelligence?

i never thought the day would come when i’d hate a baby hippo but here we are