Steve Bennett

@chortle She has kicked the bouquet...

Patricia Routledge dies at 96 | Star of British TV's most successful export, Keeping Up Appearances ift.tt/LhUTPOA

@brucedes Ah! FYI Smack The Pony is also (understandably) sold out...

@SteveChortle These are the industry holds that have just been released (2 per show) as mentioned at the end of story!

Daniel Sloss Sells Out Edinburgh Fringe Run beyondthejoke.co.uk/content/16334/…

@stevewarke @JaneyGodley

@JaneyGodley Some people should be remembered for what they did in life, you certainly should be remembered for a lot. But for me this made you a fucking legend for me. Sending love ❤️ Janey

I’m now at end of life care - palliative care-and will be going into a hospice for the foreseeable - thanks to everyone who sends me love and support- you’ve been amazing

@JaneyGodley So sorry to hear that Janey. Thanks for all the great comedy... and Trump-baiting!

@hahildebrand ...going to sleigh you? Which would have fitted if they didn't bring the comedy show into it...

This one's going to be a fucking grind, it's December and these dickheads are all pissed out of their minds and acting the twat, I'm just going to get through it as best I can

@HugeDavies ...and I'll never forget the kind, wise words of the late, great Nicholas Parsons: 'Give me two stars, you cunt, and I'll nail your bollocks to the Scott Memorial.' Much missed. 2/2

Statement on tonight’s show

@HugeDavies Oh yeah, backing out now Davies? Too scared of 'Stone Cold' Steve Bennett? Seriously, though, don't worry about it. We've lost too many good people to roundhouse kicks from angry comedians #endtheviolence 1/2

@chortle If any potential sponsor does find £200k down the back of the sofa... that'd keep Chortle going for a decade or more!

If they don't get the funding, this will be tough for all the newcomers who are throwing everything into making a splash this year... even if they are eligible for 2024, they'll have spent a fortune on this year's #edfringe

This year's Edinburgh Comedy Awards in doubt chortl.es/3oFvoZW

@henningwehn Observations, not criticisms! It would be wrong to ignore that Gervais is hugely popular. & Sadowitz not selling well in Apollo meant a muted atmosphere that did affect the experience, as well as the big venue dissipating the sense of close-up danger that's crucial to his act.

The reviewer who criticised Sadowitz for not selling enough tickets at the Apollo now criticises Gervais for selling too many tickets. I wonder what is the acceptable range of ticket sales for middle-aged white males who might not vote Labour?!

@Nigel_Farage Who would stoop so low as to use the statue for political ends?

This country is going to the dogs and our politicians are to blame.

@RufusHound Shows when my musical knowledge ran out... Cheers!

@CNN How about some Muslim remakes? Little Miss Sunni-Shine, Ramadances With Wolves, 10 Things I Caliphate About You, The Mosque-ito Coast, Sharia Window...

Malala Yousafzai, who became an activist after being shot by the Taliban, called out Hollywood for its lack of representation for Muslims and other Asian people. She intends to change that. cnn.it/3fju2iv

@Iromg @UKLabour Better one man on his knee than the whole country on its knees

The next Prime Minister? Really? @UKLabour

@watsoncomedian But the sun is disappointing: one star

In non-Fringe news, it’s a real big bastard Moon at the moment. Spectacular stuff. I think it’s sold out tonight but adding extra ones.

@igorsushko @threadreaderapp unroll

🧵My translation of the analysis of the current situation in Russia by an active FSB analyst. Buckle up for a long thread and definitely please share far & wide. The full text is over 2000 words. This is a highly insightful look behind the curtain - covers many subjects.

@TheCarlaGordon You are quite good at comedy* (*probably, idk)

feel like pure shit, just want Steve Bennett to let me know how good at comedy I am

@watsoncomedian I have a card with the security digits 007. I do like to use that

Someone's given me their number and it ends '666999'. They sounded absolutely delighted with it and rightly so. You'd be actively looking forward to people asking for it.

@mrchrisaddison I think that’s a pic from the G7

So many things to think here, but I guess one of the more trivial is: He wears a suit to the beach?

@watsoncomedian I once used the treadmill on a cruise ship. It upped my average speed on the jogging app quite considerably...

Oh mate, if you’re on a train, try putting ‘current location’ into maps and watch it try to track you. You’ve never seen the blue dot move like this. You feel like a god.