Tim Jarvis

@TaraBull Pay attention, women. You’re being cancelled next.

New broadcasting guidelines for women's athletics have been released to crack down on camera angles and slow-motion replays that ‘sexualıze’ athletes

It's National Hotdog day! Show me your wieners!

@GenTXer2 Fluid

Out of curiosity: For those who play WORDLE, what is your starting word? My current word is "STEAM" but thinking of changing.

@Punchy_Playz I’d say “Thanks for coming on short notice. It’s just easier to wish you all a happy Mother’s Day at once. Say hi to my kids for me.” Then I’d run away.

You walk into a restaurant and see this…. what are you doing?

@try2underit Releasing the alien files wasn’t a big enough distraction. 😄

Time to put money into the diabetes companies.

@TheKro16 I’m glad I saw him perform live.

Super underrated gem from Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers 🔥

@stargazeruk7 Those are absentee ballots from the Spaceforce.

Well, I just found out my baked potato was allergic to sour cream…. It broke out in chives…

@oelma__ Stuffed cabbage

First thing that comes to mind ❓

@GrowingUpRetro Pac-Man on acid?

If you know what this is, you're old.

@Oceanbreeze473 You can buy a pack of smokes with 7 more of them.

Ever see a Canadian $1000.00 bill my American friends?

@GeneralPatton83 I hope they’re not selling rashes, I mean radishes.

Who doesn't love fresh vag? 😂

@miles_commodore BTW, our country produces more petroleum products than any other country. Why are we taxed at all?

Taxation is theft. Your wages are taxed. You pay SS & Medicare Taxes. Then Local State income tax. Then you get your check. Fuel for car-Taxed. Electric bill- Taxed. Food-taxed. Cell Phone-Taxed. Property- taxed. There is virtually nothing that's not taxed. I hate taxes.

@BobDinMI The PR department should be canned. Maybe they quit and this is her on her own. Either way, Captain Kangaroo did it better.

She's 42 years old. But this is what happens when you're a box wine alcoholic for years. I'm not joking. How many packs of ciggs does she smoke a day is your guess? 2?

@RepDebDingell Thanks for keeping your language professional. It’s a good look. Are you going to show your breasts for clicks next time? And, leave the CDC alone. They’re busy launching a pandemic by election time.

The administration stopped monitoring foodborne illness, and now it’s turning into a shitty situation for Michiganders. I’m going to be leading an oversight effort demanding answers from the CDC on why they weren’t prepared and how they plan to respond.

@gretchenwhitmer Let me guess, the measure passed by 62 votes with 4.8 million absentee votes counted. Clean the voter rolls or stuff it. We know your administration cheated in the elections.

In 2022, Michiganders voted overwhelmingly to expand voter rights with nine days of early in-person voting. Beginning July 25, eligible voters in Michigan can vote early in-person in the upcoming statewide primary. Michigan’s elections are fair and secure. No matter who you’re voting for, I’ll keep fighting against voter suppression and to make it easier for you to cast your vote and make your voice heard.

@miles_commodore The intolerance for dumbasses spreads to include lactose.

Why do so many people over 50 years old drink their coffee black? 🤔

@oelma__ No, that color of red agitates the animals.

@AllysonSaysSo2 Challenge accepted!

Oh boy 🤪