Sabitlenmiş Tweet
Being a Man: the Warring Man-credo. Seeing what some young guys are buying into with the "alpha" nonsense I figured I would share what being a Man means as it was taught to me.
This has some rough language in it, so sorry if that offends. But this is how I was taught. Well, some of it might have been even rougher when I heard it over a campfire, on a jobsite, or on a long drive with my father.
This is about being a Man and living to the code, or credo, that a real man should try to follow. This does not mean that all or part does not apply to being a Woman, but I am not qualified to speak to being a woman.
I believe all of the below without reservation and struggle each day to live up to it. As a man, I own up to being a work in progress and continue to fall short, despite the better examples I can look to. Without further ado, below is the credo I was taught and have learned over the years.
1. There is no such thing as “fair”, that is a word we made up hoping to make children feel equally valid and loved while accepting things they don’t like. There is Just and Unjust. There is Right and Wrong. These things apply differently to different people and situations. Dealing with everyone in the same way is not right nor just in many situations. Paying the same wage to a firefighter and dishwasher is not right. Allowing a narcoleptic to be a bus driver is not right nor just. So, every time you hear yourself thinking something is not fair throw that out the window and ask yourself if it is Just and Right instead.
2. Honor, Justice, Humility, Compassion, and Chivalry are ideals that a Man lives to, or he is just an animal and not a Man. A man stands up for what is right and just, even if it costs him. A man says what he means and means what he says. A man keeps his promises and meets his responsibilities. A man is not a bully. A man protects those that can’t protect themselves. A man speaks for those that can’t speak for themselves or are not being heard. A man never raises his hand to a woman. A man never hurts or threatens to hurt those weaker than himself for his own benefit or satisfaction. A man never humiliates or belittles others.
3. A Man loves freely and tries not to hate even those he has to fight. The only thing we build of lasting value is love. All the rest rusts and erodes with time. A man loves his family unconditionally, even when he must disagree or stand against their choices. Real strength comes from love and not from anger or righteousness. If you are not acting from a place of love and compassion you are acting for the wrong reasons.
4. The more powerful you are the gentler you must be, otherwise you are a bully. I won’t abide bullies, nor will any real man. Striking fear in others is little better than hitting them. A two-year-old all bowed up and ready to hit you is not scary, but someone 3 times your size in the same way is scary as hell. If you are a big guy you must act calmly in conflict or you are being a bully. This is true for all kinds of power. Violence or the threat of violence should always be our last choice for dealing with conflict. And if you are forced to it, then make sure you put your opponent down and get the hell out, because you never know when someone might have a knife or a gun. Or a friend with one.
5. The rules for being a man are different than for being a woman. Call it society, nature, or whatever you want. Deal with it. They deal with their own shit end of the stick that is worse than ours, so suck it up. A man raging can be jailed even if not touching anything, and charged with endangerment, threatening behavior, etc. If a woman raises her hand to you, walk away.
6. If you are looking for a reason to feel better about something you did, well then you did something wrong, so own it. A real man faces up to the music for what he does. If you hurt someone you did something wrong. Even if you had to do it. Even if you would have to do it again. Doesn’t matter. Just because you have a reason or no other recourse it doesn’t take away the wrong of a thing. Boys think otherwise, but that is not how a Man thinks.
7. Don’t listen to your friends or your enemies when it comes to being a man. There are plenty of fully grown boys running around being assholes. Don’t be one of those, even if you hang out with them. A real man stands alone when his friends don’t stand up for what is right.
8. Real strength means withholding your power when it isn’t right to use it. Real strength means being gentle especially when you don’t want to. Real strength means getting back up no matter how many times you fall.
9. Real courage means doing what you have to do, even when it scares the hell out of you. Being fearless is stupid a lot of the time. But doing the right thing even when you are terrified and expect to have your ass handed to you, that is true courage.
10. Being a real man means serving God and those that you love. Act with compassion, love, honor, and service and you will be what a Man is meant to be. Men that serve themselves and act with dishonor are no better than spoiled little boys, no matter how powerful they are or what they attain. Being a real man is its own reward. Live this and you will understand it.
English
