Teflonica.X

@cafelockedout Lols

URGENT NOTICE Due to the current financial situation caused by the fuel crisis and the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.) PS - Due to the Virus, recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

@MatrixMysteries If you get a Time Machine back to early Greece I’m sure you’ll land that philosophy gig! Oh well, failures are needed for growth 😂

“I spent $250,000 on a philosophy degree and I can’t find ANY work.” Years in class. Six figures in debt. ZERO payoff. She didn’t fail the system — the system sold her a LIE.

@simon_ree 🎯

Australia was handed one of the greatest starting positions of any country in history Massive mineral wealth. Abundant energy. World-class beaches. Amazing climate. No fault lines... no earthquakes or tsunamis If you gave a 12-year-old this setup in a civilisation-building game, they'd build a paradise Instead, we got decades of useless politicians on both sides of the aisle who couldn't run a sausage sizzle at Bunnings without a $4 billion feasibility study and a royal commission Australia isn't unlucky. It's grossly mismanaged

@Ryandally08 Albo - well paid actor As if this guy runs the country… 🧐

#BREAKING Anthony Albanese says “white supremacist ideology” and “sovereign citizens” are the biggest threat facing Australia. He says we need to “isolate these ideologies” He again does not mention Radical Islam as a threat, just 3 months after Bondi.

@Van00sa_ Lucky country!? How do you work that out. Just wait until the petrol lockdowns and you’ll have the answer.

Is it worth going back to Australia or are we screwed?

@MMAUNCENSORED1 Easy… Bones 🦴 GSP Mouse 🐭

Pick your team. You have $10 👇

@DovySimuMMA It doesn’t have me salivating that’s for sure! Cmon Dana, do better.

be honest, you watching this?

@iron_will_pt 🎯

I firmly believe less lifting volume and more intensity is the way to go for men over 40

@asmir_tataraga @necessities1989 You’d have a better ROI in Vegas… After 2 cycles the projects that go on to make a return in a 3rd cycle you could count on one hand. Egld, done…

If you put aside $9,500 now on $EGLD, about 2,500 tokens, if the price per token returns to $300, EGLD would have a market cap close to $9B, roughly what it had back in 2021. That $9,500 stake would then be worth around ~$750,000, about $740,500 profit, a +7,794% gain, or 78.95x. In crypto, this is realistically possible, but the question is whether EGLD is legitimate and can actually achieve this, because I’ve seen people lose hundreds of thousands of dollars as the price dropped from $540 to $3.8. I had a similar opportunity with Solana but didn’t take it. Solana dropped to ~$9 at the end of 2022 and hit an ATH of ~$295 within two years, a nearly 30x increase. I’m comparing EGLD to SOL, but again, this is a high-risk investment. Lose a year of your life, or gain 60 years of freedom in one investment. I’m still undecided.

@OsherFeldman @dai_le Is this the best Australia has to offer? Reads from script… Blithering waffler! A country full of such talent and visionaries 🤣🤣🤣

Watch the PM’s complete non-answer when asked by @dai_le if he’d cut the fuel excise.

@toobaffled Who cares about TP you can’t eat it! Doomsday preppers LMAO 🤣

The Great Toilet Paper Panic is BACK, baby! 😂 Remember 2020 when everyone lost their minds and cleared the shelves? Well, it’s happening again .. this time triggered by the Iran war messing with global oil supplies. In Japan, people are stockpiling toilet paper like it’s the end times (even though TP has nothing to do with oil). Some spots in Australia are seeing early signs too. Meanwhile, the energy shock is real: Fuel prices spiking, talks of rationing in parts of Asia and Europe, shorter workweeks to save fuel, “work from home” pushes, and fears of blackouts or supply squeezes. Governments are dusting off emergency plans. Are we heading for another round of shortages, restrictions, and chaos? Or is this just panic 2.0?

@craigkellyAFEE Aus grubberment strikes again with another slam dunk! 😂😂😂

URSLA’S CONJOB Chair of the Australia–EU Red Meat Market Access Taskforce, Andrew McDonald, said the sector has been profoundly let down by the outcome, described by the industry group as the “worst ever free trade agreement for Australian red meat industry to date.” “The Australian red meat industry has been crystal clear that the FTA negotiations were the ideal mechanism to finally address the EU’s punitive and highly discriminatory import regime. “Yet the agreement delivers just 30,600 tonnes carcase weight (cwt) of beef access over the next 10 years, when a minimum of 50,000 tonnes (cwt) was required simply to be in line with what the EU has offered our competitors,” he said. “On sheep meat and goat meat, the result is equally disappointing: 25,000 tonnes (cwt) over seven years, despite Australian industry requesting a minimum of 67,000 tonnes cwt. This stands in stark contrast to New Zealand’s access of 163,769 tonnes, which is an outrageous discrepancy,” Mr McDonald said. “To land a deal so far below what other suppliers have secured is genuinely bewildering. “The agreement is a long way from anything resembling ‘free and fair trade’, particularly given Australia already provides the EU with quota‑and tariff‑free access for meat products like pork, while the A‑EU FTA locks in perpetual volume constraints on Australian red meat entering the EU.” The taskforce said the Federal Government has badly let the sector down, signing an extremely disappointing free trade deal with the European Union that falls far short of what Australia needed and expected. sheepcentral.com/eu-sheep-meat-…

@micheal_ws18 Deadlifts and pull ups

To all my gym goers… What’s the one exercise that changed your physique the most? 💪🏾

@rachaelbereba Handstand push ups, I’m the only person I see ever doing them

If I had to go head-to-head with anyone in the gym and pick just one exercise… I’m choosing Bulgarian split squats - separate the strong from the rest. 🏋🏽 What’s your pick?

Be honest

@JacquiDeevoy1 Who cares, we’re here, deal with it…

If we evolved from apes, how come apes aren’t still morphing into humans? Why don’t we see human/ape hybrids in various stages of evolution in the wild?

@thelastofblond 🎯

I agree with Mighty Mouse Neanderthal MMA fans go “omg two meat heads clobbering they r so bad!!!!” When in reality, the guy who can treat the other guy like a toddler and hold him down with ease is the real BMF

@ChivalryGuild Charles used his full arsenal to win! How is this boring? It’s strategy, and it worked. Casuals complaining as usual…

Seeing a lot of casuals calling Charles Oliveira (who has more finishes in than anyone who has ever entered the cage) a "boring fighter."

@MMAUNCENSORED1 Dancing with the stars Dude does more footwork than a ballerina 🩰

What’s next for Cody?

@DovySimuMMA Duh! No brainer…

❌Fighter removed: Cody Brundage