JACK DORSEY(parody)

We’re about to see the biggest crypto bull run in human history.

Dad buys Bitcoin for $100,000. It grows to $5,000,000. If he sells, he owes tax on a $4.9M gain. Instead, he puts it in a trust. Borrows against it. Lives tax-free. Dies holding. Kids inherit at a $5M basis. IRS gets $0.

I'LL BE BLUNT. Bitcoin has never set a real ATH with PMI below 50. Not once. This entire cycle has lived under 50. PMI below 50 means liquidity is building. Not peaking. This is a buying window. Not a cycle top. The people calling this the top are wrong. Same mistake. Same cycle. Same result. Save this post. When Bitcoin is printing new ATHs… You'll wish you remembered this moment.

Bitcoin is back over $72,000!! People told me BTC was going to $50k lmao This is the start of the bull market

🚨 Bitcoin is stuck between $65K–$68K for a reason This isn’t random — it’s a repeating pattern. Look back: 2017 → consolidation → explosive move 📈 2021 → consolidation → explosive move 📈 2026 → same structure forming now This range? Pure accumulation. 🧠💰 Smart money is positioning before the next leg up. We’ve seen this before… and it always ends the same way. Breakout is coming. New ATH loading. 🚀 Stay ready. 👀

EVERY TIME BITCOIN HIT THE BOTTOM BAND. BITCOIN WAS UNDERVALUED. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. MOST PANIC SOLD THE BOTTOM. THEY ARE ABOUT TO REGRET THAT MISTAKE. BULLISH ACCELERATION IS STARTING. THE BOTTOM IS ALREADY IN. BEARS ARE ABOUT TO GET REKT.

🚨Something crazy just happened. 👀 After finally agreeing to a 2 week ceasefire, Iran is charging transit fees through the Strait of Hormuz equivalent to $1 per barrel of oil in Bitcoin. On average, 20 million barrels pass daily. Iran will make over $7 billion dollars more every year than they made before the war with the U.S. started. It also means global nation state cryptocurrency adoption is going to skyrocket because every vessel that wants to transport through the Strait is going to have to be on the blockchain.

🇺🇸 BLACKROCK CEO LARRY FINK SAID, " NO ONE SHOULD BE SURPRISED IF BITCOIN HITS $700,000." HE KNOWS WHAT'S COMING 🚀

EVERYONE IS BEARISH. BUT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR WEEKS THE BOTTOM IS IN. CAPITULATION IS OVER. WEAK HANDS ARE GONE. ALTCOINS WILL DO 10-100X ON AVERAGE. THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING. IF YOU STILL THINK THIS IS A BEAR MARKET, YOU DESERVE TO MISS WHAT’S COMING. I'VE BEEN HERE FOR 10+ YEARS, AND I'LL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON EVERYTHING LIKE I ALWAYS DO. IF YOU STILL HAVEN'T FOLLOWED ME, YOU'LL REGRET IT.

Supercycle is coming. Ready 📈

Time to silence the ₿ears. $BTC

BILLIONAIRE KEVIN O’LEARY SAID THIS: TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS ARE LINED UP TO BUY BITCOIN, AND IT ALL STARTS THE SECOND THE LAWS PASS. “ONCE THAT BILL IS SIGNED, THE REAL MONEY MOVES IN.” THIS WILL BE THE BIGGEST CAPITAL INFLOW IN BITCOIN HISTORY 🚀

BELIEVE ME OR NOT. $ETH IS ABOUT TO GO PARABOLIC. AND WHEN IT DOES, ALTCOINS WILL FOLLOW. ETH STRENGTH = LIQUIDITY ROTATION INTO ALTS. HOLD STRONG.

At 20 I thought: - The $8,000 Rolex was cool - The $70,000 Mercedes was cool - The giant yacht party was cool At 35 I now realize: - 6.25 whole Bitcoin is cooler - Gym at 10am on a Tuesday is cooler - Having a relationship with God is cooler Success looks different with age.

If you own 0.1 Bitcoin and it grows at 30% per year, it will be worth $1 million in 19 years You can buy 0.1 BTC today for $6,800 At some point you will not be able to afford 0.1 BTC on your salary Think about that

🚨 BREAKING: Ethereum is up 8.9% as a U.S.-Iran ceasefire triggers a relief rally across global markets. Why it matters: The ceasefire reduced near-term escalation risk and improved risk sentiment fast. The implication: When war risk cools and oil drops, crypto can catch a sharp bid alongside other risk assets.

Realistic $ETH Price Targets For 2029 Ultra Bear: $5,000 | 2.4x from here | $610B mcap → Sits around Visa's valuation. Bear: $8,000 | 3.8x from here | $965B mcap → In Walmart territory. Base: $12,000 | 5.7x from here | $1.45T mcap → Matches META. Bull: $21,000 | 10x from here | $2.54T mcap → Microsoft range. Ultra Bull: $30,000 – $60,000 | 14.3x – 28.6x from here | $3.63T – $7.26T mcap → Nvidia league. ETH is no longer just "crypto." It's competing with the biggest balance sheets on earth. TA Only. Not Financial Advice. ALWAYS DYOR.

🚨 BREAKING: FED RUMORED EMERGENCY MEETING 2:00 PM ET INSIDERS SAY POSSIBLE RATE CUTS AND LIQUIDITY INJECTION IF THIS IS TRUE... THIS IS JUST MEGA BULLISH!

BTC is perfectly mimicking the 2022 bottom fractal. Are you still waiting for $40K?

EVERYONE CALLED FOR ALTSEASON IN 2025. AND WHAT HAPPENED? IT NEVER CAME. Everyone who blindly believed it got chopped. Got rekt. Lost patience. Now look at sentiment today. Everyone says altseason is DEAD. “Altcoins will never run again.” “BTC only.” “memecoins killed alts.” And that’s EXACTLY why this gets interesting. Because when alts start moving now, nobody will believe it. They’ll call it a relief rally. They’ll call it a fake pump. And while they’re coping, ALTCOINS WILL KEEP RUNNING. Slowly at first. Then violently. Then faster than 2021. I’m calling it early. 2026 WILL BE THE BIGGEST ALTCOIN SEASON EVER. Not louder. Not cleaner. BIGGER. Bookmark this. Come back in 6 months. Not one year. Six months. This market always rewards those who move BEFORE consensus. Ignore this if you want. But don’t say nobody warned you before the rotation hits. AI is coming. And this might be the last real alt run before the game changes forever. Save it. All I’m asking is that you pay attention. If you still haven’t followed me, you’ll regret it.