Lily Lester

since I started dating a girl I've been added to 2 lesbian groupchats per week. if you're having trouble making friends maybe try being a little gay

Using incognito browsing to look up definitions of words I should know

Breaking! Pro-gun advocates love guns unless they’re being shot at tr*mp

You think you’ve seen all there is and then you see a grown man drinking a bottle of nesquik

sometimes I think my mom doesn’t get me and then

There’s something so humanizing about finance bros checking the stock market while vaping on the train

I’m working laaaaaaate cause I’m a singer* *person who does not know how to set boundaries in the workplace

Not eating bread for a week during Passover? You mean every Jewish almond mom’s dream?

Becoming an adult means realizing you have to clean the things that clean other things.

I love matcha like yesssss gimme a cup of milk that tastes a little like dirt

I love mobile check deposit because my photos always include a little bit of my foot

Yeah the North Sea is scary but you’ve clearly never had your homemade salad leak dressing into your backpack

Playing the role of Eve is helping me connect with my ancestors and myself, writes @TheLilyLester. bit.ly/48gwYmZ

Where is the laundromat that’s also a coffee shop

See Adam Muller @Adam_Muller this Sunday September 3rd on our Labor Day Weekend Showcase ft. Lily Lester @TheLilyLester Ryan Keefe @ryankeefe & Mel Harris @melharrisjr at Atlantic City Comedy Club inside @ClaridgeAC! GET TICKETS 🎟️⬇️ atlanticcitycomedyclub.com/events/the-atl…

My optometrist said my eyes are sensitive to the sun and I said “I wish they made sunscreen for your eyes” and she said “they do it’s called sunglasses”

Every time I go to Trader Joe’s I shop like it’s the last time I’ll ever be there

@hey_alma This is so good

his job was just boat

If you’re in line to see Barbie, STAY IN LINE

@antiqueluxury LOLLLLLLLL

Couples on Feeld