ryankeefecomedy

Can’t take this guy anywhere… #standupcomedy #nyc

CVS sucks! #standup #comedy #jokes

@atdanwhite I remember exactly where I was on 9/11, I was walking home from my night shift as a boxcutter salesman at Boston Logan airport

Girl you so hot con ed sent an alert telling everybody to limit they energy usage

@LifeEpoch @DigAdvice #copaganda

@DigAdvice Police asked for the little girl's driver's license...

Dad takes his son out for his first driving lesson 😬

@Smillew_Rahcuef @TheFigen_ He goes by dog pronouns, leave him alone

@TheFigen_ And again a cat’s pretending to be a dog. Classic. It has to stop.

@kenzin993 @Rainmaker1973 Thank you

@Rainmaker1973 The bike has a unique wheel structure

A bike with wheels shaped like a Reuleaux triangle, the simplest and best known curve of constant width other than the circle [📹 The Q]

@archehistory @historyinmemes “mom makes me bring him everywhere with me”

@historyinmemes Another case of fetus-in-fetu. In this case the twin brother grows outside instead of inside the abdomen

Sanju Bhagat was born in Nagpur, India, in 1963. He had a normal life until his late 20s when his abdomen began to protrude as if he was pregnant. It kept increasing until he couldn't carry out his daily activities. Things got out of hand in 1999 when his breathing almost stopped due to his extremely enlarged abdomen which didn't give his chest room to take in air; he was rushed to the hospital. At the hospital, the doctors believed he had a massive tumor growing inside of him and worked him up for surgery. To their utter amazement, when they opened him up, they saw a baby in his stomach. It appeared Sanju didn't have a tumor, he had his unborn brother growing inside of him for more than 35 years. In medical terms, this was a rare case of fetus-in-fetu. Basically, what happens is that one twin doesn't fully separate from the other during development, and ends up growing inside of the other twin's body. The twin that's growing inside is usually very small and undeveloped, and is called a "parasitic twin.”

Frankly many of my followers are Dirty and Stupid , and only pretend to understand the significance of my Posts.

@missmulrooney Haha damn that chicken’s not even that big

BIG BIG CHICKEN

My 3-year-old came to tell me there was a “big big chicken” in our yard and you will never guess what it actually was

4/20 — never remember

I think schools should let children smoke cigarettes in the bathroom but only if they’re constipated

@Variety Wow I hope my dog makes it to 64

Jeff Ballard, Longtime Publicist for Charlie Sheen, Dies at 64 variety.com/2023/tv/news/j…

@Feldfrog Praying mantis line is brilliant

😈 🤏🪲

You’re telling me a “slow” braised these short ribs?

@AddonizioRemy Disrespectful

@ryankeefe Haha

I don’t know why we refer to human beings as individuals when you could totally hack one to pieces with an axe. Seems pretty dividual to me

Thanks for the like, stupid!