Chauncey Whitlock

i, too, can understand the plight of the vampire whenever i smell truffle oil pumping through the vein i simply cannot control myself

“are you drinking cranberry juice because you have a uti?” it’s sad that in todays society a girl can’t enjoy a tart beverage made from an innocent fruit filled with antioxidants without being accused of something wrong with her. also yeah i have a uti

at a bar in a red state there’s a devil on both shoulders one tv is set to a knicks game one tv is set to fox news

That “need something sweet” demon be whoopin my asss

It’s been awhile since I polluted the shades of Pemberley

i got hospitalised for my twilight addiction and they put me in the ed ward

Elizabeth Bennet agreeing to dance with Mr. Darcy:

wow the Groundhog just called me and apparently trump getting shot in the Gay ear means 6 more weeks of brat summer

me when I'm not okay

Inside Out 2 if it was filmed inside my head

I often take a few days to respond to messages as an homage to the concept of correspondence and letters

Born to fall out of a coconut tree, forced to live in the context

BREAKING: Supreme Court rules it is legal to lure a political enemy into the catacombs of Paris with the promise of a cask of Amontillado.

Biden up there looking like Viserys Targaryen

BREAKING: The bill from Schoolhouse Rock has taken his own life

me when my friend is explaining the rules of the board game

Oh I love her music!