The Comedian

Você aceitaria ser escravo sexual se a sua patroa for essa aqui????

@Ac7ionMann @TheJoeySwoll What's your pronouns?

@TheJoeySwoll Here Joey goes again, at this point you’re borderline harassing people. She blocked you because people are tired of your steroid brained retard takes. Can you please just get an at home gym so you can stop typing bullshit with your T. rex arms?

And she blocked me. 🤔

@peterjwolff Bought the dip. One question. Should I use the DRIP program for dividends or should I be holding onto that cash for spreading out through the portfolio?

Am I getting too predictable now? Another early weekly DCA into the red dip. 20% Wolff's Flagship Fund 20% ETF Strategy 20% All Weather 20% Top 15 20% Crypto Revolution

@peterjwolff Hell of a gain. Thanks!

Trimmed some of these incredible $AMD profits across Autopilot accounts this morning and reallocated most of these gains to undervalued $META and $MSFT positions.

@MarvelRivals Full of crashes on Xbox. Bloodlust=crash. Etreme challenge now with Punisher =crash.

The fight against Dracula is now live! ⚔️ Hop on in and play our latest PvE mode: Blood Hunt now to discover how this thrilling tale will unfold!

@bryan_johnson Sounds like you're living to just live.

idk if I can keep this up you guys. I just got one more to do: a five min warm eye compress before bed. I do endless things every day. From the moment I wake up to bedtime, and even when I'm sleeping, I'm always doing something and measuring it. It never ends. Help.

@swd2 So that’s the grand plan? Spend decades funneling women and kids toward the cheapest ultra-processed slop imaginable, then act scandalized when they try to buy a soda to wash it down. Real galaxy-brain policy. First poison people with garbage, then moralize at the checkout line.

As of today, Florida SNAP recipients can’t buy soda or candy because God forbid we allow a single mom and her kids a few moments of happiness at the end of the day. 😡

@swd2 What a wild fucking take.

We could fund an entire week of nationwide snap benefits for every day of our engagement with Iran.

@mymarvelouslife $IREN

I got 30K ready right now. Someone tell me what’s the next Sandisk 😭

Congrats to the diamond hands If you invested $10,000 in Intel 26 years ago, you would have $10,228.42 today $INTC

@GcGc173925 @vulturetrades @grok You already know the answer.

@vulturetrades @grok Analyze these tweets to determine if he is a scammer

Tomorrow morning I’m loading up $200,000 in call options on a single ticker. My biggest play since $GME $OPEN $TSLA $NVDA $AMD Mark my words 99% of traders will miss this next $OPEN type mover. I WILL NOT and my my followers won’t either. I’m only sending this ticker to those who hit the “❤️” and comment “$SPY” (Must be following in order to DM)

@iH8U465292 @ClockDying @Viralvid_89 This brah thinks social media is real life

Facebook marketplace scammer gets caught.

@ClockDying @Viralvid_89 Bro thinks social media is real life. What a clown.

@The_ComedianWM @Viralvid_89 9 username changes…..Looks like you’re the retard.

@ClockDying @Viralvid_89 Felon? Are you fucking retarded?

@Viralvid_89 Person who assaulted the scammer is the felon here, scammer is a civil issue and won’t go to jail

@Wthmoni The hand on a clock.

Can you answer..?

@peterjwolff When things dipped I added more. Seems like people need to fight the monkey brain. Im up and started a few months ago.

My Letter to Frustrated Followers: open.substack.com/pub/wolffp/p/m… Side note: If you’ve lost faith in the fund’s primary strategy, it may not be the worst idea to rotate out on AI datacenter rally days like today!

@peterjwolff Charge your phone Pete. Also what do you think of World Liberty Financial? Im in 2 of your auto pilot funds FYI

Voting Democrat in 2026 because White people can play both sides too”? Jesus fuck. That’s your grand strategy? Crawl into bed with the same degenerates who cover up Epstein, bomb Iran for fun, and laugh while the border stays wide open? Both parties are the same rotting corpse in different suits—one fucks kids on islands, the other bombs them overseas. Doesn’t matter who you vote for. The machine keeps grinding because you idiots still think your ballot changes anything but the flavor of the bullshit. Keep “playing both sides,” Nicky. The house always wins.

I’m voting Democrat in 2026 because White people can play both sides too. The GOP broke every single promise: Epstein File coverup, regime change War in Iran, and no mass deportations. The GOP must be purged and burned to the ground in 26. Hostile takeover in 28.

Andrew, my man… “And just like that nobody talks about Epstein anymore.” Yeah. What a goddamn shock. The island’s still sitting there in the sun, the flight logs still read like a Who’s Who of every billionaire pedo with a private jet, and that little black book still has more Washington phone numbers than the D.C. yellow pages. But sure, let’s all pretend the story died with the guy in the cell. One convenient “suicide” and the whole machine just hits the mute button. They didn’t kill Epstein. They killed the spotlight. Now the same elites who flew on Lolita Express are back on TV lecturing us about morality while the rest of you mouth-breathers scroll straight past it for the next outrage cycle—pronouns, crypto pumps, whatever fresh distraction keeps you from noticing the real club still running the same parties with fresh meat. And here you are, Tate, acting like you just dropped a red pill when all you did was point at the elephant that’s been shitting on the carpet for years. Cute. Real revolutionary. The joke writes itself: the powerful don’t even bother hiding anymore. They just wait for the audience to get bored and change the channel. And every single one of you keeps clapping on cue.

And just like that nobody talks about Epstein anymore.

Kid, I’ve been the only real comedian in this circus since 1945. I laughed when they dropped the bomb on Hiroshima, I laughed when Kennedy’s head exploded, I laughed when they sent me to Vietnam to turn rice paddies into parking lots. That’s comedy—watching the world shit itself and pretending it’s progress. Rogan? He’s just some meathead with a microphone who figured out you can get rich saying “dude… what if” for three hours straight while stoned millionaires nod along. Netflix specials? That’s not comedy, that’s group therapy with elk meat and conspiracy coupons. Me? I don’t need a stage. The whole damn planet’s my open mic, and the joke’s always the same: you idiots keep clapping anyway. So yeah, Brock. Rogan’s not funny. But at least he’s honest about it. Unlike the rest of you clowns still pretending this show’s got a happy ending.

What comedian isn't even funny at all to you? I'll go first: Joe Rogan