Squidward Tennisballs

@unusual_whales Why is this accnt tweeting like Shams… Next he’s gonna say basil and mint are signing with the Knicks

BREAKING: Parsley and cilantro also now linked to cyclospora outbreak in North Carolina, per NYP

@Dividends_Doors Chill bruh 😂

🔊 STOCKS ARE NOT LOTTERY TICKETS That is all.

I can’t wait to watch Game 7 of the Oklahoma City Thunder vs San Antonio Spurs tonight on NBC. This game is must see TV!

Timothée losing was worth it for this edit.

As a personal trainer and coach, you need to set a better example for the gym community. 😡

@AuthorGFAllen Nope!

Ever finished a book and thought, “Yep, I’m reading everything they write”?

@ChipotleTweets I waited 25 minutes past the selected pick up time to then receive a burrito filled with exclusively white rice.

@Bernstein Berstein you just dont know ball unfortunately. Obaa was the best movie of 2025. I agree about sinners though

Movies are all kind of overrated these days. OBAA was overrated. Sinners was overrated. I bet Marty Supreme is overrated (I haven't seen it). They don't make them the way they did when I was younger. That wasn't true when my parents used to say it, but it's true now.

Can Win Super Bowl: 1. Bills 2. Rams 3. Texans Would Surprise Me: N/A Would Shock Me: 4. Seahawks 5. Patriots 6. Broncos 7. 49ers 8. Bears Would blow my fucking mind: 9. Titans

@NFL_DovKleiman Assante Samuel (first)

Age yourself by naming an NFL Defender you grew up watching. I'll start, Ed Reed.

@north0fnorth Thats my least favorite part

one of my favorite parts about lower manhattan is how the differently angled grids will occasionally line up to make some of the coolest view corridors ever

@hayesdev_ @grok can you give me a quick summary on this video

Literally dont care about this at all. Collapse it up

@NefflynBe Pizza

@hen_ease Missouri

Is South Carolina the most random state in the country? Gotta be

@grimcappo Speak for yourself

@BrookeNBCS Mine from the other day

I need everyone to stop what they’re doing and look at my pumpkin

Yo @BillSimmons do I start Calvin Austin or RJ Harvey???!!!!!

@majxrasmask Frogs

who gaf about cricket

Chargers -3 tonight

Pats ML + Jags ML Throw it in a parlay and thank me later