brb cat's on fire

Aight, done wrapping. Everyone else's stuff comes in a Walmart bag.

Alright, well, I logged back in after like two weeks to shit talk Olive Garden and scroll for thirty seconds and holy moly, I did not miss this.

@InternetHippo @olivegarden At least I got rid of the damn Darden gift cards finally

@InternetHippo It’s like you were there with me at @olivegarden Why y’all charging $20 for a giant chicken McNugget with tomato sauce on it? No for real, the McNugget Alfredo is more expensive than the sirloin, wtf?

@Matt_Billips @KrangTNelson God damn auto correct, got me again.

@AlmostMedia He made fun of a kid whose father had committed suicide and got pushed down some stairs. Maybe that other kid was ALSO a jerk, but two wrongs don't make a right.

Nerds who don’t heal their trauma wound of being “unpopular” become quite dangerous when they go from underdog to ruling class

@scareakeets Guess I gotta be a steamer now :/

Why does this headset need to have LEDs that "react" to audio? Who is going to see that? The lights are on the side of my head, outside my field of view. Explain yourself, @LogitechG

@MNateShyamalan The only [noun] we need to make [adjective] again is trucks and smol. Looking at you specifically, @ToyotaMotorCorp.

you have to wear a hoodie at least this hateful if you want to draw attention away from that stupid fucking hat

@Srirachachau Don't forget that big swingin Viggo dick in Eastern Promises.

Elijah Wood obviously cool for taking his LOTR clout to carve a weirder career path for himself but it rocks so much that Viggo Mortensen took his hot guy cred to become an absolute freak for Cronenberg

@Secondlina I'm fairly certain you could set both of them on fire if you put your mind to it.

New Crow Time 🎅🎄 (2/2) The more appropriate name for the poinsettia is cuetlaxochitl! I learned that today~

New Crow Time 🎅🎄(1/2)

@LitterboxComics My younger sibling used to self snitch. Everything would be quiet, then you'd hear a big crash on the other side of the house, followed by "I LOVE YOU MOMMY"

It's time for my 2022 Top 5 Comic Countdown! Coming in at #5 on Twitter is:

@poseidonides @davenewworld_2 I'm old enough to remember the vandalism in NYC being shown live on TV in 2001.

@davenewworld_2 Journalism isn't about injecting opinions. At this point, law enforcement and utility officials are calling it vandalism. Maybe if someone decides to interview you, the word "terrorism" will be in that article. Competent reporters tells us what the sources say, period.

3 substations in Washington state were sabotaged on Christmas morning knocking out power to 14,000 customers. The media is referring to this as vandalism. Spray painting graffiti on a sidewalk is vandalism. Causing massive outages for thousands of people is domestic terrorism.

@dadrummondart Furcifer is what Satan named his cat.

The trilobite Hoplolichas furcifer in bronze and fully reconstructed in ink. A spiny little tank. #InverteFest

@Meevin10 Meevin is so exploited. Clearly suffering immensely. Just look at that face.

cool. pray harder i guess

Funniest Christmas lights I saw this year was three giant ass crosses made of strings of lights behind a nativity scene. Hell yeah let's friggin murder a baby!

@gorskon Quick, post videos of children with whooping cough, smallpox and other preventable diseases.

Funny how the “new school” #CovidVaccine antivaxxers are all coming out as just antivaxxers now. Actually, it’s not. I’ve been predicting it for at least a year and a half now.

@littlestb20 @iamJon_NY @mattxiv They know they're not "supposed" to be here and yet they come anyway. Telling them to stay home clearly is not working. Which isn't to say we should just let them in, but maybe not bus them around in the cold like political props once they're here. Just deport them, christ.

@ThisCatThough @iamJon_NY @mattxiv The inhumanity is allowing them to believe they can across the border. The humane thing to do is to tell them to stay home until we work in immigration reform. The Democrats are using them for future votes . Ask Latinos who came here legally how they feel about border jumpers

there is no hate like christian love

@littlestb20 @iamJon_NY @mattxiv Or, just hear me out, theyre not making the choice to come here lightly, on a whim, and dropping them off in an unfamiliar place in freezing conditions is pretty rude at best. Deport them if you want, but why is it necessary to be inhumane?

@ThisCatThough @iamJon_NY @mattxiv That’s the administrations fault for allowing them to believe Title 42 will be rescinded. If administration let them know you can’t just walk across the border and Dr say. More would stay in their own countries

Lmao why is there a separate tab now for seeing replies/likes/whatever from people who have Elon $8? So that I can more effectively make fun of them for giving Elon $8?