Amy

I just chatted to my neighbour for 5 minutes with large beads of white sunscreen-filled sweat running down my face after taking my kids to the park. Didn't realise till I got in. It looked...disgusting.

Cutting your kid's hair is like cutting a doll's hair but with the added worry of looking like a bad parent for a few weeks. Might have accidently given both my toddlers this hair cut.

Football team talk ⚽️

Bumped into my cat today and instead of saying "hey fella" I said "hey fellow" and I don't know who I am anymore

Who would have thought if you hear the sound of a witch's cauldron in the back of your car it's actually two babies vomiting in unison. #twinparent #parentsofmultiples

🚨 URGENT 🚨 has anyone in London lost their open tupperware full if beans? Because I have found your open tupperware full of beans.

@carlbergcomedy Think she was one step away from this process

Took some carved stone ornaments to a charity shop and the woman there was really happy. She kept rubbing them and saying "they're really tactical, do you know what I mean?". I said yeah but days later I still don't know what she meant.

Kids will probably love this kids’ film, but I am a sophisticated adult and I found it a bit childish. 1 star. I will spend my pay cheque for this with real pride.

@rosymaydancer Don't mind me, just defeating Reshala with my tactical stone ornaments

@ThisIsAmyJay Tactical lol

@carlbergcomedy I'm guessing 11,607 people have accidentally called you Jim Carlsberg

@ThisIsAmyJay Jim Carlsberg likes this 👍🏻

If you see someone with twins and you say "double trouble" you are not the first person to say that. You are the 10,582nd person. #twinparent #parentsofmultiples

The only man who could replace Gary Lineker on Match of the day!!!!!

@rosymaydancer I love how multiple Frods arrived 🐸

@ThisIsAmyJay I loveee this video!

"Ribbit amplification"

Me when I move my babies' high chairs after giving them toast for breakfast: #twinparent #parentsofmultiples

@peppermintsue Boardwalk Empire!

@ThisIsAmyJay Lol where did that come from?

Anyone else say "Would you like some Nuggy Thompsons?" when they are about to cook some nuggets?

We’re Just Innocent Men x Tenacious D. The collab I never knew I needed!