Tilla

@willjennings80 2/100 - rather relieved as I presume the country we presumably now have to fuck off to now we’re not British will not contain this person

Very pleased to say that as a result of this absolute garbage, insulting piece of writing that is perhaps a barometer of where the Guardian is heading I got 1/100 and an consequently no longer British.

@Scott_AW_Brown RIS? @robmanuel

@IamHappyToast Urgh now I’m imagining fizzy chicken soup! I have some old ex-pub pint mugs and I do have chicken soup in them, it’s actually amazing, plus pint mug has space for dumplings

@bethchevron I mean, they never specified which traditions, I look forward to your going full rap-battle Mari Lwyd horse skull from now on

@MisterABK She’s actually a futuristic space assassin AND space tooth fairy on the side, she laughs in the face of dentists!

"To avoid complications, she never kept the same address" - That would actually make things a lot more complicated. It's all very well being a Killer Queen, try registering with a dentist.

Yeeessss! @Mark__Lawrence it’s arrived! Fantastically excited to read it

@fesshole This is a thing. My mum did this (used to pile tons of food on my plate then essentially eat two portions by finishing my leftovers) - went to CBT and the therapist said “So it’ll go to waste if you chuck it in the bin? Stop using your body as a bin”

I've put on a stone in the last year, I believe solely because my son leaves lots of food on his plate and I can't stop myself finishing it.

@MisterABK @robinjaymorgan Only worrying if one of the people responding with ‘your mum’ is actually your mum…

@robinjaymorgan Thank you for being nice, Robin. Everyone else is saying, "your mum."

Who milks the milkmen?

@EtanSmallman At least it’s not the photo of the two chossidim from behind, though!

The UK's Jews are proud British citizens. When they experience an unprecedented wave of racism, this is the photo the BBC chooses...

@bethchevron It is astonishing how little money you have when you *checks notes* spend it all on expensive stuff that helps ensure your child’s future place as part of the elite

@bethchevron Where is this place and can I go and do they do requests?

@byMorganWright Was just scrolling, briefly saw the image and was like “Ooh! Hippopotatomus!” then read the actual tweet. Boxing glove?!? WTAF???

Folks are saying that if you can see a boxing glove in this potato, you're left-brained, and if you can see a dinosaur, you're right-brained. Okay, there’s no way because this is quite obviously a hippopotamus. Everyone’s seeing the hippo, right👀💀??

@bethchevron I reckon you’re doing better than the current state of the world, so that’s definitely a win!

@AMAZlNGNATURE @HelloGarglers have you seen this?

A handful of Otters started appearing in Singapore's waters couple years back. Today there are Otter gang wars

Am hoping to get one before we have to switch our mattress round and I then spend the next 2 years sleeping in my husband’s bed-divot whilst he creates a new one…

@pierrenovellie OMG your review on The Gargle - obviously you were hilarious but please please please do you have the link to the monster mattress? Searched for ‘gorilla mattress’ and it’s giving me dog beds.

@bethchevron Oh god is it still going? Not gonna fuckin’ click on that

@EtanSmallman ‘A triumph of incompetence over malicious intent!’

More Sh*t than C*nts. They should put that on their posters

@MisterABK Then it turns out it wasn’t even the moon, it was a reflection of the cheese they were holding, which falls into the pond as they bend over

It's hard to tell exactly how bad AI art is, because the people producing it are the dullest and most easily impressed marks on the planet. "This is a game-changer!" they cry as they try to scoop the moon out of a pond.

@bethchevron ‘Tis the mensch who be hench