Tim Fletcher

After a week in hospital I finally have my nephrostomy fitted. Fuck yeah. 4 nights nil by mouth but fitted now. Hurts like hell but should be upwards from here.

@UK_Republic My wife says the same. Doesn't make it less meaningful, kind and restorative tho.

@Timf1964 Thank you, but I just do what any loving partner would do.

Mrs D is in hospital, having had her final surgery to remove her catheters. All good news, and I’ll have my shiny new wife home tomorrow. Then back to the Roy Marsden hospital next month for a scan to check that she’s cancer free. Thanks #NHS Time for a celebratory takeaway!

@manchestermelly @EllisBezant I seem to remember I bought a bottle a Chablis and one of verve clicquot and baked a salmon. Seemed to go ok. See just dropped off some stuff to me in hospital 25 years later. No pegging as far as I can remember!

@Timf1964 @EllisBezant I know. It's either this or "hi", "hey" or "fucking scum" 🙄

@manchestermelly @EllisBezant What happened to how many O levels do you have and what do your parents do...

@EllisBezant Aww, he's a keeper.

RT @markoftheD: Cool!

@DrMabuhay @ChadwickKHall Yeah!!!

Sauerkraut, bacon bits, ketchup.

@eToro I had 57 in 2010/2011 I bought a DVD drive. #winning

🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL🚨 1 Bitcoin is now worth over $31K. Respond in gifs. Go!

If you are atheist and you are looking down the barrel of dying, it's quite hard not having any prayers, mantras etc to be able to trot out. Lying on the cold floor of logic and reason isn't as comforting as you might think. @theAliceRoberts #atheist #dying #bastard

@realDonaldTrump @FoxNews @OANN Get used to watching daytime TV Donny Boy.

.@FoxNews Weekend Daytime is not watchable. Switching over to @OANN!

@insidewheel Cheeses in upside down

@sgfletcher68 remember Millport? "You've got a hairy bum!"...

RT @pulmyears: Happy 73rd Birthday to the great Jeff Lynne!

@AdamRutherford @jenwhyntie @FiRo99 I don't see the issue, if you don't like it, don't have it. I have a wood fired pizza oven and have made loads of dodgy combinations - hoisin duck spring onion, pesto chicken asparagus, nutella strawberry and banana with marshmallows sprinkled at the end for toasting. Choice!!!

But more importantly, following Sconegate (draw), Spaghettigate (HF victor) and Waspgate (HF victor), we are unified in disagreeing with our producers @jenwhyntie and @FiRo99 that pineapple on pizza is a crimewrong. You decide: is pineapple nice on pizza?

In the latest #CuriousCases, @FryRsquared and I (mostly I) fail to make a pizza with @GilesYeo that can satisfy one's RDI. bbc.in/2L1MX2r

@hayatelseedd Low bar, almost anything is better than a bueno. No substance.

bounty is better than kinder bueno

RT @JujuliaGrace: Hello, I run a network of 26000 UK doctors, and can tell you pretty accurately what’s going on in the NHS. But I have onl…

Just watched TOTP from 1989 and watched @PaulHeatonSolo invent the Lightning Bolt. @usainbolt I think royalties may be due.

@liamgallagher Yeah, that's the reason to hate it, cos the match is off, not the 70,000 deaths.

The footy is off GUTTED you fucking CUNT of a virus 🦠 be gone you fucking slag

RT @CraigHughes666: My Uncle was a cartoonist for the Dandy he was the creator & artist of "Bully Beef & Chips" "Jocks & Geordies" also "co…

@manchestermelly Yes

@Timf1964 On its own? 😬

It's a double no from me.