Oluwatosin Komolafe, PhD

I was privileged to work on aspects involving climate change, waste management and agroecology. It was amazing to know those areas are intertwined, resulting to accumulation of capabilities on my part. A very interesting adventure.

If you marry a woman who enjoys to see you suffer! Work all day and night and care less about how to support you or alleviate the burden, witches and wizards are making love to you. The worse pain a man will carry is to be a husband to a waster. She knows how to sit around and eat, see movie, and yet, no value! Please........... you wont live long as a man. Be aware of what's needful for marital growth. A word is a enough for the wise. I wont say much....

Please take note. Urgent alert from @akin_adesina. The video below is fake. Please retweet this warning. 🙏 @akinwale_cfi @jerrytobi @woye1 @Omojuwa @edobong_akpabio @FabiusMulongo @Titomi23 @odus_king @gsbabatunde @ekundayo_dami1 @Ezeakachidozie

People seek those who share similar dreams and goals with them to do life with This is the only way one can truly live and feel fulfilled in life If, as a young man, you find yourself being friends with a lady who you really like but who does not believe in exclusivity in relationships She says this to you clearly and without shame "I don't believe in one man-one woman, I believe people should have the freedom of association and a right to be with whosoever they want to be with over time." It will be very wrong of you to date such a woman and then start fighting her because she didn't give you "exclusive right" to her attention and emotional commitment. I have seen men say, "I will cage her once I marry her." "She is wild, but I will tame her", "I will domesticate her", "I will put her in her place". No you won't. We are all true to our nature and she will be true to hers If she is not allowed to satisfy her nature in the open, she will do so in secret. It is best to leave her be and marry the kind of woman who holds the same kind of desire, dreams and future that is similar to yours. Sometimes you meet a lady who says she desires to be a second or third wife. She says it casually while she was not in any serious relationship. You also notice that whenever you are in a serious relationship, she would draw close to you, be in your DM, call you constantly, and be concerned about you more than she ever was before, but the moment that relationship ends and you are single again, she will draw away from you because she does not want to be your girlfriend like that. You notice the pattern, and you are not a polygamist by nature. You need to let that friendship die a natural death. You are being groomed by someone who wants something totally different from what you want but does not know how to get it directly, so he or she is hanging around hoping you will adapt to their desire and change your story to fit him or her in. A man says he is a polygamist by nature, but you are not a woman who desires to share your husband. You then marry him, hoping he would change, or with the hope that the "vow" he took during the wedding would force him to be faithful to you. Don't live in a fool's paradise, dear. Marrying him will only bring you great pain because the picture of life you have in your heart and the one he will be painting with you will be so different. It will be like aiming for a Picasso and getting a Pollock! You will never find joy in the life you are living. A friend was thirty-five and desperate to get married. She met a man, an Irishman who owned a farm in America. The man was rich, and he wanted to marry a woman in her early twenties who looked and dressed like a Barbie doll. The man had been obsessed with Barbie dolls since he was a child. He took her out on lavish dates and changed her wardrobe He held nothing back financially, and she was soon thanking God for her good fortunes. Then he told her she had to do surgeries to really look like he desired He told her she must reduce her breasts, redo her backside, do a nose job, and adjust her cheekbones. He was making her fit into the picture he had always had in his head. She did everything he wanted. She went under the knife six times until she was carved into the image he desired Then he locked her up in his mansion in Manchester. She became a prisoner of his obsession and told her if she ever left him, he would kill her. She found herself living in his prison for three years When she eventually reached out for help, it took several plans and strategies to get her out of the man's clutches Till today she lives under a false name and address, and she left that relationship empty-handed She said it was hell on earth, and I reminded her it was the cost you pay for sticking around when somebody had clearly stated to you that they have a contrary picture and dream to your own. A lady says, "God told me to relocate to London, so I cannot live anywhere else". You are convinced God told you to live in Canada, Nigeria, or India. From the moment she stated what was on her mind, the honorable thing for you to do is say au ravoir Don't stick around until you develop feelings and start seeing yourself as a bird who will be flying to and fro in the name of love. Poor people like to present themselves as plain canvases where others can paint any picture they want as long as it gets them out of poverty. Unfortunately, once the poverty is gone, we awaken our basic instincts. A young actress got married to an older man for financial security. Her mother orchestrated it because she saw it as their key out of poverty, but she didn't see herself being married to an old polygamist Everybody said she would settle down, she would cope She didn't. She began to use drugs and engage in other deviant behaviours as a coping mechanism She gave no one any form of peace until she left the marriage People wrote about it and talked about it all they wanted, but she chose not to fit into another person's story. She did what was right for her! Do what is right for you. Don't wear a shoe with a nail in it because you don't want to disappoint others or because you want to fit in. When the shoe is not your size, let it go, no matter how beautiful it is to the eyes If you are dating someone or friends with someone, and you can see clearly that their destination in life is not where you are heading to Or that the picture of the life they desire to live does not fit into the picture of the kind of life you desire to live Don't reroute to please them and displease yourself You have this one life to live Please live it. PS: When a man or woman has not discovered his or her identity, they end up living another person's life. -GSW-

I ran into one of my best friends and classmates in JSS 1-3, Sabo @temySalam at an airport this morning. Anytime I see him kitted in his lawyer garb, I'm always emotional. In our JSS days 1994-1997, Sabo was a big fan of Gani Fawehinmi and was always mentioning his name in class. It was during military era, with Gani the fieriest torn in the flesh of military governments. Sabo and I were the class' most politically conscious members, reading newspapers and political magazines like TELL, Newswatch etc and discussing politics in class - with our limited understanding as kids of 12-15 years. Newspapers of the era referred to Gani as "radical lawyer", so Sabo used to call himself "radical" in class. "Emi radical". Sabo was my most feared football team mate in class. If he played in same set with me, problem for me, as he was always pressuring a lazy footballer me to mark (Whereas in my own mind: "Bro, leave marking, I just want to tap in ball into net"). If I played against him, problem too, as he was hard tackling and I feared his bones tackling me😊. Later, some family challenges affected his education and he dropped out of school, relocated to Zamfara and learned printing. I continued my own education in Offa 😊. Later, in 2001/2002, when he heard that I had gained admission into university, he was motivated to revisit his Gani dream. He went back to complete secondary education, wrote WAEC/GCE/UME and got admission to study law in UNIABUJA. By 2010 or so, when I was already working and visited Abuja on official duty, I went to see him in campus in Gwagwalada. He achieved his lawyer dream with call to bar a few years later. Delayed, but never denied. I asked him where he was headed to this morning. "To Lagos, to handle an EFCC matter in court". Well, I know he is built for such. When I had a very tough land dispute issue a few years ago, I used him him. He executed the job like the hard tackling footballer he was when we were in JSS 3. A king almost got detained because of him. Ori ade fe sun ewon. He is built for such tough assignments. My radical friend. Sabo holds a special place in my heart. A lesson in resilience. Doesn't he look like Gani - his mentor over 30 years ago - here? 😊

@LaminBarrow22 @akinwale_cfi @jerrytobi @tunde_banjoko @edobong_akpabio @makinwaoluwole @LgFarmerPodcast @Titomi23 @Ekundayo_X @ElwinMubba @Femi__Adekoya @_SpringAgro @Agroponicsfarm @KorDavid90 @JoyOsamudiamen_ @chalepherdallah @AfDB_Group @AfDB_Nigeria

Hmm! It seems the rookie is about to lose his job, except the resistor can't handle more workload. Let's break it down: 1. The coaster seems to be influential. Does his job and brings in the client. The company needs him. 2. The resistor hates AI but does not miss a deadline. She is efficient. AI is a tool, she will embrace it eventually. At least, she has the job for 2 more years. She is the side-kick to the coaster. 3. The rookie still needs some training for the next 2 years. The best person to train him is the resistor. The company can't handle having him alongside the coaster — two years might become 10 years. The company needs to make enough profits, the rookie can't aid that in the short-term. The rookie has to go!

You have to layoff one person. Who is that and why?

SOME OF MY VOLUNTEER EXPERIENCE. I regularly review manuscripts for these journals, and doing so has brought me multiple academic gigs: · Journal of Hazardous Materials, · Journal of Applied Polymer Science, · Journal of Thermal Analysis and Calorimetry, · Combustion Science and Technology, · Energy & Fuels, · Fire Safety Journal, · Fuel, · Journal of Analytical and Applied Pyrolysis, · Measurement: Energy, · Renewable and Sustainable Energy Reviews, · BioResources (North Carolina State University, USA), · Chem. Bio. Eng. Reviews, · Energy Conversion & Management: X, · Nigerian Journal of Technological Development (SCOPUS), · Energy Policy, · Energy Report, · Renewable Energy, · Thermal Science and Engineering Progress, · Chemical Engineering Transactions (SCOPUS). I am one of the reasons why science is moving forward. Without a reviewer like me, your research might not be published in highly-ranked journals. Reviewers are the engine of academic publishing. So say thank you to me if this resonates with you.

@SirJarus Lofty goals!

Having evening walk and saw estate kids playing football at the park. They rushed me as the uncle that sometimes joined them. Decided to join the side that was 2-0 down and promised to help them equalize. Scored 4 goals for them but the opponents scored 6. Left them at 8-4. Continued my walk.

If you are good at what you do. People who know your worth will gladly recommend you for jobs and opportunities. I have enjoined people goodwill and have payed it forward to others. 1. My Undergrad project supervisor in ABU Zaria gave me an unsolicited letter to the Dean of School of Technology in YABATECH. That letter aided my acceptance as a youth corper in YABATECH 15 years ago. 2. My brother recommended me to his friend who was a unit head in Mutual Benefits Assurance Ltd, Lagos. With that, I was interviewed and employed as a marketing executive. I had a good time working there. The field experience (marketing) remain useful for me till this day. 3. 2 years after the completion of my youth service in YABATECH. My HOD wrote a recommendation letter (in my absence) to the institution CEO that the department needs my service. 3 months later, I was called from the Registry to pick my temporary appointment letter. 1 year later, I and others were interviewed by a team of academic and industry experts. I aced the interview and got a permanent offer letter. Had an amazing years at YABATECH and it provided a solid foundation for where I am today. 4. My childhood friend recommended Universiti Teknologi Malaysia 🇲🇾 to me for my Masters. At that time, he was a student there. Upon my arrival in Malaysia, he had graduated but he handed me over to Dr. Fasisi (a Nigerian). He was very good to me. Coincidently, I met one of my junior at ABU Zaria in Malaysia. She spoke highly of me to her PhD supervisor. She gladly accepted to be my MSc supervisor. I had a wonderful experience working under her tutelage. This contributed to me graduating for a record 16 months for a 24 months program. At my convocation in Malaysia, I won the best masters student for my cohort. 5. Again, one of my junior at ABU Zaria submitted my CV to his PhD supervisor here 🇫🇷 . He spoke highly of me to him. I was interviewed and weeks later, he gladly accepted me as his PhD student. I have had an amazing research experience working with him in France. Summary of giving back. 1. Today, my friend who recommended Universiti Teknologi Malaysia 🇲🇾 to me is a PhD student at Penn State University. I was instrumental to him getting the offer both during the application stage, interview stage and visa application stage. 2. My friend who recommended me to my lab in France is also in the US. We were together here at a time. I was instrumental to the job offer that took him from France to the US. He remain appreciative till this day. 3. Same applies to the person who recommended me to my supervisor at UTM. She is Dr. Jemilah, a senior lecturer at the ABU Zaria. We remain good friend and professional colleagues. We constantly exchange ideas and opportunities for career growth. There are many more of such.... That's me for you. Be good to me and I will go out of my way to support your growth. Have you been recommended for opportunity and by who?

After NYSC, I told my mom to inform all her customers that her son was looking for a job. She had a small shop where she seels things. She told a customer, a woman. The woman saw me and asked what course I studied. I told her. Her face brightened. She had a colleague who started his own IPAN registered laboratory. He already told her he was looking to recruit a fresh graduate of microbiology. She told him about me and he sent his mail for me to send my CV. I was invited for an interview. It was a two stage process. The woman already told me the kind of analysis they do in the laboratory so I read about the basics. I got the job. It was through that job that I learnt all I knew about sampling. It was through the job that I entered a plane for the first time I'm life on company expense. A good referral helped me here and I am grateful.

The first time I was ever depressed was in Malaysia circa 2020 due to boredom and loneliness. My three closest guys who were PhD students graduated in quick succession and return to Nigeria within three months intervals. I lived in the same hostel with two of them. With that we could be in each other room till 2am gisting. Coincidently, we were from the same town in Nigeria (Ilorin) but I met them at the Universiti Teknologi Malaysia. Very good guys. When the last among them left Malaysia, some days I could just be walking around the hostel aimlessly. Covid-19 era made it worse, as going into town anyhow was restricted. Due to this the hostel was so deserted as no new students were admitted to live on campus. Guys, it was tough. I had to double my efforts so as to graduate early and return to Nigeria to reunite with my family. Till this day, I missed them. Today, two of them are Associate Professor at the University of Ilorin. While the third one is a Chief Lecturer at the Federal College of Education, Asaba. So, ladies and guys, keep that relationships. Loneliness can be brutal.

I knew a guy exactly like this in my 200L 2nd Semester. He lived in the self-con adjacent my compound off campus, and from Monday to Sunday, it was an endless conveyor belt of absolute top-tier women walking into his room. Sometimes they came at 7 AM and sometimes they came in the evening. Our entire street reached the conclusion that this boy was either using juju or doing male hook-up because no amount of money will make you bring those kind of women everyday without going poor! We held a boys’ meeting under the mango tree in front of my compound. Serious analysis, diagrams were drawn, theories were proposed. Because the sheer volume of top-tier women entering and leaving that small room was simply defying the laws of engineering, physics, biology, and every known principle of “how boys in 300 Level are supposed to move.” The matter got infinitely worse the day I saw my own area crush stepping into his house. I violently needed to know what was going on. One day, my roommate and I finally walked up to his door, using the classic Nigerian excuse of asking if his phase had NEPA light so we could see things in 8k. When he opened the door halfway. We braced ourselves for impact. But, we were instantly hit by a thick cloud of Got2b glue, smell of burnt edge control and hot pressing iron. This our supposed BABA for the GIRLS was standing there in a salon apron, holding a hot comb, and violently melting a 36-inch bone-straight frontal into my crush's scalp. Baba was just a wig installer💀

I think the mistake people are making is saying using inverter automatically means one is accepting national grid must not work. That is not activism. That is folly. The two are not mutually exclusive. That is the point. All over the world, people find temporary solutions when there are national problems. It doesn't mean people do not want to see the national problem solved. If the people in charge of solving the problems themselves do not care, why should I put my family into permanent sufferness (heat etc)? How does that stop me from agitating/advocating for solution to the national problem? And we also need to acknowledge the place of economics in all of these. Even if national grid is working, if it is cheaper for me to use solar, I will use solar. That is economics. PS: I did not tell anyone to install solar o. I don't even give such advice. I only said I installed solar and I have a case for it.

I moved to the US in 2009 on a visitor's visa, and my wife, whom I met online after arriving in the US, has been a solid backbone, huge help in my life. I started talking to her sometime around maybe April or May or something like that in 2009, and we finally met in July or September 2009, one-on-one. To cut a long story short, we got married in 2010 Trying to get a job was very difficult for me at the time because I didn't have the right documentation, but through her help and encouragement, I got a job in a supermarket, and I was there for almost a year or thereabout. During that period, she had filed for me, and the following year, which was 2011, in April 2011, I got my paper, which was approximately, I think, about nine months after she had filed for me. So, I got my papers, my working paper, and I got a job in a pharmacy, a big pharmacy, and she was there for me. She would drive me to work, and when she closes for work, she'll come pick me up. By the way, my wife is seven years older than I am, and it has never been a problem for me, you know, it has always been fine for me. The respect has always been mutual. But along the line of marriage, we were trying to conceive, we decided to go see a doctor, and several tests were done, and they found out that my wife had Endometrial cancer. We had two options: it was either they took out the whole, I think, the uterus, a large portion of the fallopian tubes and the rest, or we, she, we decided to go for chemotherapy or hormonal therapy treatment for a short period of time, just so to see if it can be controlled and also to see if she could still conceive That news broke my heart. I was at work when she told me. I cried because I've always wanted to be a father, and the one thing that I wanted, the one thing that she also wanted, has been taken away from her. We didn't know where the problem came from. She had issues with her menstrual flow, but we didn't know if this was the issue, and it broke our hearts. We did hormonal treatment for six months. She had a D&C where the womb was scraped, the endometrium lining was scraped, and every cancerous cell, as much as they could find, was scraped, you know, just so they could prepare her for conception. So, we went ahead, and after a while, we did everything we could do, we tried IVF, the first cycle failed, and after one year, you know, the doctor who was treating us became uncomfortable because normally, the treatment is supposed to be for six months, like a temporary fix, before you could go ahead and now do the surgery to take out those organs. But here we were for one year now, so he was like it was like we were risking my wife’s life, and he decided to refer us because he was like, "My hand no dey again," you know, so he decided to refer us to somebody else who was willing to pick up the case and take the risks The lady decided there was nothing else to do but take out the cancerous organs before the cancer spreads or before the cancer kills my wife So, we decided to go for the operation. So, they took out her womb and a couple of other organs and left the ovaries there. Ever since then, my wife has felt like her womanhood had been taken away from her, which is the truth, you know, the ability to carry a child was taken away from her. This happened in December 2013, and in that same December 2013, we bought a house here. That was four years after I arrived in the US. I had bought a big house because we were planning on starting a family. We were very hopeful, we had also bought a very big car for my wife in anticipation of the coming of the babies, while I drove the other smaller car I came to Nigeria a few months later because I landed a big job, but I continued my job with the USA firm remotely. I negotiated with my previous employer, I said, you know, okay, you know what, pending on when you guys get somebody, maybe I could work part-time, if that's fine with you. So, I later worked part-time, while I had my full-time job, so I could do like three or four hours depending every day when I came home. So, money wasn't a big issue for us. We were able to pay our mortgages and everything. I came to Nigeria in 2013. The pharmacy decided to let me go, and that really affected our finances because our mortgage was drastically increased, and the property tax increased So we had a lot of debt to pay. My wife, after the surgery, was at home for like three months, so she didn't go to work. So, all the bills were on me, and we had about, we had two of our nieces that were staying with us, so everything was on me. So, we started to use the credit card, and the bills kept ballooning, you know, the debts kept ballooning, you know, and it became very difficult We started to quarrel because, of the financial pressure here, and the fact that she was depressed, and I was also going through my own phase, I was also depressed, you know, and I tried as much as possible to encourage her, like, you know, be there for her, but it wasn't as much as she would have expected because I was going through my own phase. We had never gone; none of us had ever gone through that kind of thing before. Somehow, about that time, she reconnected with an ex, who is from Haiti, and they decided to talk. She would tell me she was going to see one of her friends, but she was sneaking off to be with this guy In fairness, we had started to quarrel over the financial matters and everything, because I felt we should reduce how we were spending, and one issue led to another issue In 2014, I started noticing several changes in her, and I decided to do a little bit of digging around, and I found out that she was having an affair with her ex. She had been having an affair for seven months with her ex, and sometimes, some of the trips that she would take, that she's going to see her friend, celebrate her birthday with her childhood friend, or maybe her colleagues are going for a casino or somewhere, or they are going for one or two things, like a concert or something, I found out that a lot of times, this guy was always there. Most likely, she would talk to him, and they would decide to link up in that place or something. So, it broke my heart, while I was in the house, because I'm not really the outgoing type of person, and my wife is this kind of person who was in the entertainment world. So, she managed all these musicians and everything. So, she was, you know, out very, she's very outgoing. While I was more or less like the opposite, and another reason why it became difficult going out, in my perspective, was because of the financial aspect, but she, she was like, you know, we only live once, you know, we can't be working, working, working, working, and not take time to enjoy ourselves and all that. I had my mistakes, don't, don't get me wrong. So, I've made my own mistakes, my own share of mistakes. I'm not a saint here. I've done my, I've made mistakes. She also made her mistakes, but in the midst of all this, even when she was undergoing that hormonal treatment for like a year or so, my wife changed. It was as if the drugs turned off like a switch, just went, just somebody just switched off her emotions. Even if we're watching TV, and my wife sees two adults kissing on TV, it irritates her. It makes her feel so irritated. Not to talk of me touching her, like she couldn't stand it. It was that bad. That was what the drugs did to her. But I was faithful. I've been, I was faithful all through. I have not done any nonsense with anybody since I came to Nigeria. I know I was still with her, because this is something that we decided to go through. We didn't plan for this. It's something that just happened. That's life. As I said, maybe I didn't do as much as I was supposed to have done. Maybe I'm learning, and I learned. The bottom line is, she had an affair with this guy, and when I confronted her, she denied it, but she later owned up to it. It really broke me. I had never been heartbroken before. That was my first time in 2014, and it changed something in me. It changed something in me, and ever since 2014 up till now, it's been a struggle, because the woman whom I trusted, and I was willing to sacrifice all for, I could not see her from that aspect anymore. I saw something else. I was seeing somebody else. But even though I tried, and we even, I even suggested therapy, she didn't want to go for therapy, you know, and a lot happened along the way. One month later, I checked her phone, and I saw that she was texting this guy, telling him that she missed him, and I'm like, even after everything that we had just gone through, you're still texting this guy? Like, what's wrong with you? And I kind of knew that something was wrong somewhere, that this wasn't just like a one-time thing, People say, oh, I had a one-night stand. I met with this person, we had sex, and that was it. But this was a full-blown relationship that went on for seven months, and God knows how long it would have gone on, because this guy was telling her to leave me. And this was somebody that she knew before she met me. If he was willing to marry her, he would have married her, but he never, he never wanted to marry. He wasn't ready. So, now that she's married, now you're coming back, telling her, leave him alone, come and be with me. My wife could not stop thinking about this man Like, she was going crazy. It was like she couldn't control herself. In 2015, after a period of ten months, I noticed that her movement became more stable and everything was getting back to how it used to be. I was starting to trust my wife again, because I didn't tell anybody what had happened, because I felt it was better to keep it within and work it out among ourselves I guess that was the biggest, maybe mistake I made, because it kept eating at me on the inside. I was dying slowly. Then I noticed that the cycle started again. She had started going out, and it started becoming worse, because we had agreed that we had to, like, start hustling now. We had debts to pay and everything. We have to grind and do everything possible. So, she would tell me, oh, she was going to work with her cousins up north, and she was trying to do things, do this, do that. Even though I felt they were in the mix of all that, they were trying to like build businesses or something. But in the midst of that, I had a conviction that the cheating had started again, that something wrong was going on somewhere. Even though I could not really put a finger on it, I felt in my bones that something had started happening again. So, it continued, and I decided to investigate again. And I found out again that she was having a relationship with another person At that point, I literally checked out of the relationship. We're still together, though. She doesn't know that I know about this current thing, what's going on right now. She doesn't know that I'm aware of the situation because her birthday was just, I think three weeks ago, was her birthday. I didn't have money, I did what I could do, I gave her a little bit of money to make her hair and everything. And her birthday was on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday, or so. She went out, and she was with some guy, and she came back on Sunday, said she was going to be with her friends to celebrate her birthday. She came back, and it was from the discussion and everything that happened between her and this guy, his name is Garvin, that I discovered they had a big quarrel that I think involved the police, or somehow the police were called, or something, something happened, but they had a big quarrel. So, she came back home on Sunday, and she had an attitude with me, and we kind of had like, it's like a quarrel, like, and I'm like, why are you, why are you talking like this? Like, what's my own with this situation? Why are you transferring like anger or something, you know? So, she came back and apologized, and said that she wants to be with the one that she knows really loves her, which is me, and this and that. I found out that she and the guy had broken up. I can't be a spare tyre. I know my value, I know my worth. My issue is, my wife is not in the very best of health; she obviously needs somebody to take care of her, and she needs somebody to make her feel loved. But all the while, this was going on, how can I make her feel like she's loved? I love my wife, no doubt, so much, but I also know the fact that something is wrong, so that this woman doesn't seem to be like she can be faithful. That's a big worry for me. And I am so broke that I'm stuck in the house because of the amount of mortgage that we are paying. We are paying a huge amount of mortgage alongside the car payment. So, it's huge. My salary and everything are going into the payments of bills. So, I can't even afford to rent an apartment outside, and I don't even have a place where I'm going to go and stay. So, I am stuck, you know, I'm stuck. What went wrong in my marriage? Why is my wife cheating again and again? Is there hope for me? Should I leave this marriage? What do I do? Because I know, yes, I love my wife, but I cannot trust this woman anymore. I can't afford to be treated like the last option, go around and have fun with everybody, they come back home, and meet me at home as if I am just some helpless plaything. I can't live like that, I value myself too much. What do I do? How can I get out of this? Because was she supposed to be the woman I was supposed to get married to, and have peace? Or did I make a mistake? Like, I am confused, I am confused. And all I'm asking is for direction and strength from the Holy Spirit on how to handle the situation, what I should do, what steps I should take. And push comes to shove, will I even meet somebody in the future who would respect and care, and be loyal to me 100% in the future? Will I even be able to have kids of my own? Because I even came to Nigeria and started the adoption process, just so we could have kids. I had spoken, gone to, I came to Abuja also to, I went to a fertility clinic, I was preparing for all that. Will I even have, because you know, I said, okay, push comes to shove, we'll do someone's egg, someone carry the child, use my own sperm, just so we could start having a family. Will I have kids of my own? Will I meet somebody else who would be the bone of my bone, the flesh of my flesh, and would have kids with me? Like, I am confused, sir. And that's why I said, I've been reading your, your, your posts, you know, and I felt compelled to reach out to you, to reach out to the brother in shirt and in jeans, because I know you are close to God, and I know that God speaks through you. Please help me, sir. I am confused, I am, my heart is worn out, I don't have peace anymore, I don't have peace. PS: Many people do not realise how much being altered traumatizes the human mind and the changes this then does to individuals. I know a man (Pastor)who was a faithful husband of over ten years until he and his wife went for a fertility test, and it was discovered that his semen was unable to impregnate a woman. This man became a skirt chaser overnight He was convinced his semen didn’t work with his wife, but that it would work with another woman, and he went all out to prove it By the age of forty, he had six children from six different women His wife, who married a humble, simple, hardworking, faithful christian was shocked at the speed of his transformation, which was overnight. She said he was so angry from the moment they left the clinic that all the decisions he made afterwards, from leaving his calling, abandoning his marital vows, and becoming wild, almost made it seem like he became a complete stranger overnight. Trauma alters people. Some couples would fall out of love after a tragic event like a miscarriage, a stillbirth, or the loss of a child, and so on In the case of the lady above, the removal of her womb made being married of no consequence to her What would be the point of the marriage when she couldn’t have children? What would be her glory as a woman? Another thing to consider is how she sees herself and how her husband sees her A new lover would treat her normally, while her husband might be treating her with pity and looking at her as if she were a failure or a disappointment We all know how, when we mess up in one relationship, we move on to another because we know the memory of what we have done would always colour the way we are seen, valued, or regarded in that relationship. It is best for the two of them to part ways and for the brother to put the experience behind him as he forges ahead to build a new life for himself in the coming days. Seeing a good relationship go sour hurts badly; however, the best thing to do is to take whatever lessons we can from such and move on. -GSW-

I have a senior colleague at work who is paid a whole lot but he rides his bike to work, he doesn’t have a car, it’s a thing of choice. Trust me, he doesn’t have a car is a thing of choice, not that he can’t afford it and when you live in a country like the UK where their transport system is top notch but for the rich and poor, you can do without a car.

@Titomi23 Perhaps

@Titomi23 I don't think Arsenal had the material to dominate the midfield. I was very worried by the lineup as to the lack of a creative hub.

@Real1_balogun Perhaps that explains why he adopted that style for the game.

This was my exact thought. Was he thinking of playing a defensive game against a City team boiling from the recent loss against Madrid? He does this regularly, even to smaller teams. What was his thought process? We have City that title on a platter of gold.

@Real1_balogun Then necessary changes should have been made on time. Man City took the initiative the moment they realized that Arsenal was not willing to dominate via the midfield. Hence, my question.

@Titomi23 I don't think the setup was defensive. It's the opposition that forces teams into their shell

@arsenalbabe_ That was not a phase. I can only describe it by saying that Man City pushed Arsenal to the wall while holding their throat till they conceded. Or do you have an answer to why Arteta decided to leave the ineffective players on the pitch?

Most of you didn’t get what happened. Football matches like this are in phases. In the first half, we had Man City on strings for some time. In the second half, they started brighter and we absorbed the pressure well without conceding a single shot on target until Kepa’s brain dead moment. If Kepa had not done that, the momentum would shift again with Arsenal making a substitute or two to keep things going. That goal deflated everyone and made City to control until the end.