Trey Carson

@tedcruz what kind of man embraces @realDonaldTrump just to get re-elected after all the things he's done to you and your family? That's pretty fucking pathetic. Stand up to him. Have some self-respect. Really.

#TheFifthElement is the best movie ever. #handsdown

@Publix I just moved again which of course means getting acclimated to "My" new Publix. Met the manager of the Hidden Valley store as he bagged my groceries. Couldn't have been nicer. I think I'm going to be okay.

To the @united employee at FLL who said I would never make the 630am to Houston. I made it. Ha! How bout a little positivity next time?

@realDonaldTrump Great. Keep spending money unnecessarily on defense while half the nation's kids have inadequate educational resources. #whatajackass

@oliviajacopetti @m1kelys0ns @UberFacts Clearly you have no idea what you're talking about

@UberFacts I'm almost positive this is not true

@Scaramucci refers to himself in the third person #soundsaboutright #fuckingweirdo

@USAA Your commercials should really not encourage people in an accident to call YOU before they call the police. #veryirresponsible

@trivago Great website, horrible commercials. Really. Makes you look like a cut-rate site when you guys really are #legit

Every @hgtv #HouseHunters episode - Rich husband buys bitchy unappreciative wife a house. Update: Still bitchy and unappreciative.

@realDonaldTrump #embarrassedforyou

#LivePD is dope but that white guy that hosts it looks like a brokeass Chris Hansen. Purple shirt with black jeans? Am I seeing that?

@realDonaldTrump You know when @realDonaldTrump says "impeccable credentials" this guy has done something real fucked up we'll find out about in two weeks

@ScottiePippen you're a 51-yr old man. I think it's time to put the earrings away

@realDonaldTrump You're a real fucking idiot. This is not a reality show.This is not time for a big reveal. It's not about ratings. It's the environment.

Wow! What an incredible game! #PENSvsSENS

@celtics such a #disappointment. Really hoping you could unseat the @cavs. But I have to say that @Isaiah_Thomas is my new favorite player

Does anybody actually get the Matthew McConaghey Lincoln commercials? Like for real. I have to be missing something. @LincolnMotorCo

I gotta say #DogTheBountyHunter is one of my guilty pleasures, but the music on that show is #theworst! Where do they get that from?