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Pleased to announce that after four months the cats has been named: Jefferson Airplane. Acceptable nicknames include Jeff, Jeffrey, and El Jefe.
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Murder Most Moist
13.9K posts
Murder Most Moist
@TripleKan
he/him soft-hearted and soft-headed
st. louis, mo Katılım Aralık 2011
730 Takip Edilen54 Takipçiler
@id_armed That boy has individually articulated index fingers so by the size of you are looking at at least commander-class
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A CHUG Galvatron in the big ’26, this is what dreams are made of.
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there’s not actually a particularly high incidence rate for foot fetishes, it’s just that it gets a lot of visibility because you can’t talk about the weirder sex stuff on tv but you can say “let me smell those dirty toes”. this is called an availability heuristink
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Murder Most Moist retweetledi
Watto only implies that he's familiar with mind tricks and that his species is immune to them. But he apparently thinks that encountering a Jedi is so unlikely that he doesn't even consider that Qui-Gon might actually be one. This is funny because it implies this is just something some asshole will walk in and try to do once in a while.
Lord Vagrant 🍁 VIII@vagrant_john
@mightydudbolt Doesn't Watto later directly imply that he's not only familiar with how Jedi operate but the fact that he's dealt with them before? I'd figure a Trade Frderation Viceroy would be more informed than some outer rim merchant
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@grovymango great now i have a summer crush, just perfect
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Young men in my dms please stop flirting with me i am 38 years old
grovy 🥭@grovymango
its me and my buck teeth against the world
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Murder Most Moist retweetledi
My son: (typing) White people be respawning at Panera bread
Me: Aww look honey!! His first tweet (,:
Son: Chinese peop
Me: *quickly grabs phone*
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Murder Most Moist retweetledi
Murder Most Moist retweetledi
The way I picture it a bunch of pioneers were like WE'RE GOING TO CALIFORNIA and they go in their little wagons with the sheets on top all across Nebraska and Kansas and eastern Colorado and then they arrive at the base of the Rockies and then were like eh this is fine.
Epic Maps 🗺️@theepicmap
Today I learned that Denver is a Great Plains city.
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Murder Most Moist retweetledi
white people when they learn they aren't irish or vikings
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Harry Smallboner
North Carolina, Wilmington, Cemetery Records, 1852-2005
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Murder Most Moist retweetledi
he puts $5 of diesel into the Arwing after buying $20 scratchers and a roller dog
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things you should make your boomer parents listen to
-performative moaning
-plapping it on the pussy before sticking it in
-sticking it in and it farting and going "uh oh noisy girl"
-it popping out of her mouth
-gagging
-"MA where the FUCK are the towels in this joint?"
The Telegraph@Telegraph
🗣️ 'Our 25-year-old son and 27-year-old daughter are both back living at home as they can neither afford to rent, nor save for a deposit' 'They shouldn’t need to live like monks but hearing them in the bedroom feels a step too far' Read the advice from Annabel Rivkin and Emilie McMeekan 👇 telegraph.co.uk/family/relatio…
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Steve Harvey: Name something that shoots out your penis
Me: Hmm I’m gonna say cum, Steve
Steve Harvey: What’s wrong with you?
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I wish there were more of the "character from the past that lives in the present but still holds antiquated beliefs" not in the "Captain America is racist" way but "Captain America gets told that Plate Tectonics got proven and thinks you are fucking with him"
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Oh honey let's make sure we visit the landfill
The Associated Press@AP
BREAKING: South African health authorities said they have identified the Andes strain of hantavirus, which may be passed from person to person, in two passengers who were on the cruise ship that has an outbreak of the rare infection. apnews.com/article/cruise…
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I love that there was just an insanely evil chimpanzee
Jane Smith@JaneSmi59961167
@The_Pequod_ For further context, Frodo was an unusually violent and aggressive chimpanzee, like, insanely so. He was a very persistent hunter, frequently attacked human visitors, nearly killing Goodall herself, and, most controversially, abducted and killed a human infant.
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VIROLOGIST: “It’s bizarre, Hantavirus almost never jumps from human to human like this. Usually it’s from coming into contact with rat feces or something.”
CRUISE SHIP CHEF: “Yeah, that’s crazy, it must’ve mutated or something.”
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@aedison no it’s totally cool, I didn’t think you were trying to be!! twitter is for sure Like That sometimes and I forget like you can’t just cuss at strangers and expect them to know you’re playfully teasing and not trying to start a fight
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@TripleKan oh I didn’t mean to be rude either, but jesus I really was. sorry about that, I’ve been too confrontational in my replies lately and it’s maybe started leaking out as a default tone.
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hangout idea for film nerds: mutually masturbating while watching the complete works of françois truffaut. just make sure you don’t come to ‘blows
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