Tyler Schremp

A poem by my wife: The tall pine is uneducated The green know not French, Latin,Greek mythology, nor philosophy And yet pruning of the daring sprout–– A formidable thicket forms Glory is for surrender not survival for these green ones They are the rare That give their fruit sacrificial The passive placating greenery Sways in the wind no matter how subtle And that brutal storm uproots with centrifugal force But like the vortex strong You have heart rendering vulnerability You bleed your sap Without draining the life force of another Oh dear, I have forgotten all that was taughten to me Old before, The tree stands yore It stays in one place No eyes upon its face No face upon recognition Just forget all that you’ve learned No more like the beast That fights its way Let it be like the tree that sways in passive decay That’s one way to end with dignity For no eyes can read, no ears can listen, And yet we’re witnesses to all… Forever green at heart.

Today many Americans will attain that elusive goal of shitting pure meat.

Someone tell @DalaiLama to quit being a dick and follow back

I feel like senility is going to be a pretty smooth transition for me.

I'm just going to put this right here...

Today I called a rotting grapefruit a jerk.

Awww. Look at the KermIt Cenobite! #horror.

You may not think it's funny, but I found this humerus. #horror

If someone says you look familiar, tell them you're in porn.

mariah careys song 'always be my baby' was about the lobotomized adult baby she kept in her attic

what

my cat is constantly recharging on crystals and is extremely powerful

same

If I say, "Don't worry, I'm on it," there's a 98% chance I'm referring to my couch.

@KelFocker's favorite bedtime story!

Today is the first day of your miserable, fucked up life.