Victoria TelferSmith she/her

I spoke to @LBCNews today about the importance of holding perps to account for domestic abuse related suicides following the conviction of Lee Milne in Scotland. There's been lots of progress made, but too many families are left waiting for justice.

Abusers don’t co-parent, they counter-parent. Even worse, they target the very thing that is most precious to you, your bond with your child. These are some of the ways they do it: They speak negatively about you to shape how your child sees you. They promise a “better” life or new family to pull your child closer to them. They involve your child in custody issues and make them feel responsible for conflict. They create coalitions by positioning your child on their side. They buy affection through gifts, trips, and rewards to compete with your bond. They use emotional blackmail by threatening to say harmful things about you. They make threats to force agreement on parenting decisions that suit them. They encourage secrecy and ask your child to keep things from you. They show disapproval when your child expresses positive feelings about you. They distort memories and rewrite events to influence how your child understands you. They undermine you by ignoring your boundaries or rewarding your child for going against you. Out of everything an abuser does, this is the cruelest, and it cuts the deepest. There is a particular kind of pain in watching someone interfere with your bond with your child, using them as a tool for control and revenge, and deeply harming them and you in the process. It is violating, it is relentless, and it goes against every instinct you have as a parent to protect, nurture, and stay connected. It forces you to stand in the middle of something you never should have had to fight for, your place in your child’s life. I have found healing around what was done to me, and I have rebuilt parts of myself I once lost, but I will always carry a deep and lasting outrage for what he chose to do, and continues to do, to my child. #CoerciveControl #PostSeparationAbuse

The Naked Bike Ride is due to arrive in the UK very soon. I’ve spent the past year challenging this event because my safeguarding concerns have not been taken seriously by the organisers, the City Police, MET Police or by the Mayor of London, despite these issues being raised repeatedly. If this prompts more people to look into the concerns I’ve highlighted and support my petition, it only strengthens the call for accountability. Thank you to everyone who has stood with me. I see you ->>> change.org/p/the-naked-bi… @MayorofLondon @CityPolice @metpoliceuk

@JonjayNeedham1 Beautiful garden Jon! 🌷

My #therapist agreed with me when I spoke about the sexual violence I experienced, especially when I said it was my fault because I had been walking home at 1am from a party. My #boyfriend had been too drunk to walk with me. #shame #rape #therapy

@Shrink_at_Large Ridiculous newspaper!

The Times: “1 million more claim UC without looking for work.” Reality: They were predominantly moved from legacy benefits by the DWP. That’s managed migration, not mass laziness. Stop moralising admin. It is extremely damaging, actively worsening the nation’s mental health.

When potential clients use therapist Facebook groups instead of booking in with a therapist! Gaaaah! Stop it! #therapy #facebookgroups #clients #dilemmas #thetapistslife #therapywork

@JonjayNeedham1 Yes, I am good thanks Jon! 😊

@JonjayNeedham1 You are enormously special Jon, you inspire survivors the world over. Including me! You are awesome. 😍

Awesome book!

Making shoppers pay for returns while online shopping isn't right. The company isn't paying rent for a shop with fixtures and fittings, so don't pass it on to the customer. 😑 #shopping #onlineretailers #customersatisfaction #returningclothes #customerisright

@shadows_control How he treats our children. He doesn't care about their emotional and physical health. He doesn't parent them and doesn't have good boundaries for them. They can game all night and day with no safeguarding. They are left alone in the house without access to food.

Abusive actions often blur the lines between love and control, creating deep confusion. Sharing your experience could bring clarity to someone still caught in the fog. #CoerciveControl #HealingJourney

I feel desperate. My children continue to be neglected by their father on fortnightly visits. He lacks the ability to parent. When they return, they are disregulated and exhausted. They don't sleep or eat properly. SS has tried to intervene with no positive results.

@JonjayNeedham1 You are an awesome man! Your bravery shines through and gives me hope with my struggle. 🫶

My kids' school doesn't answer the phone anymore! They just leave it to ring out......! #blocking #notcommunicating #badschool

Dafuq did I just read? ‘Chemical castration’ of sex offenders being rolled out across 20 prisons?? The ‘chemicals’ are SSRIs and Androgen blockers? This will not work, has never worked, and misses several vital points: 1. Plenty of abusers and offenders already take SSRIs and they didn’t affect their offending whatsoever 2. Sex offences are NOT a crime of desire, libido or passion, they are a crime of violence and power - so chemical castration will likely fail anyway as it doesn’t address power or violence

Retailers charging for returns now or no threshold amount for shipping and NOT making an announcement? I can shop somewhere else. My money. My choice. #OnlineShopping #fashion #highstreetstores #money

Remember when the Met Police Commissioner Cressida Dick said the police only had an "occasionally bad un" after Wayne Cousins kidnapped and brutally murdered Sarah Everard and then a damming report came out highlighting the deep misogyny in her force, as well as a group of officers making fun of paedophilia, domestic abuse and more. The report concluded a very different picture of what Dick said. They said it was more than "a few bad apples" She had to resign. It reminds me of Jacky Tiotto, trying to silence anyone who tries to highlight that perpetrators could possibly be within public bodies like CAFCASS, and the way she is so quick to bully, threaten and deny that perpetrators live among us all in every profession. Just as Dick should have been protecting society from perpetrators and denied it was a problem, belittling it, Jacky Tiotto has done the very same thing in a letter addressed to Dr Jessica Taylor. Jacky Tiotto is supposed to be protecting the public from perpetrators, in particular children. How can she do that if she is a perpetrator denier? Jacky Tiotto should also resign! I'm afraid she is not fit to run CAFCASS due to her attitude of victim blaming, silencing victims and those who speak the truth. Protection of children can never be accomplished with that mentality at the top. Resign Jacky, no child or family is safe with you at the top. nbcnews.com/news/world/lon…

Yes. I’ll start. Prince Andrew, Russell Brand, Jimmy Savile, Harvey Weinstein, Robert Kelly, Sean Combs, Keith Raniere, Andrew Tate, Tristan Tate, Ghislaine Maxwell.. Keep it real Piers and stop obsessing and fixating on Harry and Meghan.