Bummer T. Vibes, Esq

Eating fruit loops out of a plastic baggy on the train and nodding at a baby doing the same thing.

Sundays are for grasping the true scale of the universe then having a nap.

I like how I'm so committed to not doing what I'm supposed to be doing right now.

I'm 'what's the point of lying about my age now' years old

Freshly hand creamed hands gripping a doorknob, logging on

Dancing is indoor running with booze

Beer before wine, beat up a mime.

It's called a sunroom. So far, I've used it for naps and rain-watching.

wiping tears away with my yellow karate belt

Repotting plants at 6 a.m. for Jesus

Hey(with the intention of bumming a smoke)

me: do you accept returns tattoo artist: no

[shaking my head a little so the microplastics floating around in my brain gently settle on my frontal lobe] bet

Never give up unless y’know…it’s too much effort

I have reached my “Punch the monkey” limit.

A bent wheel rolls funny on every ground

@HeSlimedMeRay If I ever find it, it's a small green (not olive) dish, no lid, pressed pattern.

All stroke no genius

I’ve already thought it was the end of the world six times in my life, this shit can’t be stopped

A simpler time when people were worried about how many scoops of raisins they were getting in their cereal

How has there not been a game show called Rigged