Kilgore Sandtrout

@blackpansyx Perfect for sliding fingers into, lacing them in the back right next to the scalp.

Nothing to see here… except a good hair day

@blackpansyx That was about 7 years ago. I'm gonna be job hunting soon, so I've trimmed it down to a goatee with no mustache to be more sellable. If the new gig, whatever it turns out to be, doesn't mind the look, it's coming back.

@VoidBellowsBack Oh heyyy

I love beards

@blackpansyx Swift is living rent free in a lot of heads these days. The right knows that voter turnout always works against them, so they are working hard to suppress as much of that as possible. She's liberal, and promoted voting among her fanbase. They have to discredit her.

People are blaming TS and not MVS smh 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think it’s more because of their offensive line not being able to hold onto the ball

@blackpansyx @Smalls1138N And didn't lie about his height on a dating profile?

@Smalls1138N He’s handsome and cuddly and mostly purrfect 😅😅😅

Sorry I didn’t want to go on a second date, I’d rather spend more time with my cat

@JayLoPapi @commie_trucker And he's working on that.

We need more service workers willing to assault customers. Y’all got too comfortable abusing your servers.

I highly doubt Musk is honoring Al Hajj Malik Shabbaz with this rebranding.

@GabeJamesGames Literally Chef Approved.

@blackpansyx I think I would have remembered

Matt Gaetz has been a massive Barbie fan ever since his parents were stuck in traffic when he was 17 years old and he had to play with his sisters dolls to pass the time. Google Matt Gaetz 17 year old traffic to learn more

@ChristopWFisher @fuzzymittens Those are really big science words. I do t think you’ll convince them.

@fuzzymittens wtaf!?!? i have type 2 and i am at normal weight and had it since i was a teen due to a genetic condition and overexpression of DYRK1A a symptom of mosaic trisomy

@Virgini73198141 @ComicDaveSmith @DavidSacks @JackPosobiec A “LOLbertarian”, if you will.

@ComicDaveSmith @DavidSacks @JackPosobiec Comic AND Libertarian. 😳 Kind of redundant eh.

Just checking in to make sure you’re okay, Tom, now that even the NYT has reported the failure of the counteroffensive. Why do you think that you and your “Experts” got it so wrong while a pleb like me got it right? Perhaps the war is too technical for you.

@LiliMay453 @oneunderscore__ Snowflake

Charles Barkley, everybody!

@JohnMoreyAuthor @archer_rs Violently entering someone else’s land and deciding they can do what they want? Sounds pretty British.

@archer_rs I know you said they’re British, but they sound so American - are you SURE?

It's holiday season so of course a couple with their camper van thought it acceptable to break my fence and camp overnight on my land. They are now blocked in with our small tractor, should be fun when they wake up.

@HeilielPrince @KeneAkers And the murderer came from elsewhere

@xilanoalmirante @cwebbonline @GovRonDeSantis That’s because Russia turned into a bigoted fascist kleptocracy run by former KGB goons turned mobster. They’re jealous

Dear @GovRonDeSantis, another “woke” insurance company is pulling out of your state. Maybe you should skip Iowa & take care of business at home. 🚨AAA pulls back from offering insurance in Florida, following Farmers. They’re dropping some policyholders in Florida "to manage risk and catastrophe exposure" — the same reason Farmers cited for its exit.

@blackpansyx youtu.be/-bVBUJfnsyU

I’m ngl im pooping

@Masonsourced @TreyDiesel35 @DEADLINE

#Oppenheimer star Matt Damon on SAG-AFTRA going on strike: “If our leadership is saying that the deal isn’t fair, then we gotta hold strong until we get a deal that’s fair for working actors. It’s the difference between having healthcare and not for a lot of actors, and we gotta do what’s right by them.” *A previous version of this tweet was deleted for lacking Damon’s full statement in the copy. We regret the inaccuracy and apologize to Mr. Damon.

@PplsCityCouncil @FilmThePoliceLA Execute the Executioners.

BREAKING: LA County Sheriff’s Department has released a video show a deputy punching a mother in the face while she was holding her 3-week-old baby in her arms during an arrest in Palmdale last year. This is who LASD is. They must be abolished. #LASDgangs