WARM THINGS

Who here likes when there's a cube?

This is Dan speaking. Melissa and I are in a lot of trouble because we had a bad idea for a big score. We'll explain everything during our set at @CentralNJDSA's Night of Solidarity tomorrow (12/13). Please attend, or else you won't know how to help us be happy again

Frankie Valli Baja Blast

Brats like us should get the vaccine first, so we don't have a conniption

Not only can this guy shred, but he just passed the New Jersey Bar Exam. Congrats to the one and only Buckethead, Esq.!

It is with mixed feelings that we announce the departure of founding member Melissa Jouben, who has left the group due to creative differences and could be dead for all we know. On a related note, we welcome the newest Warm Thing...the dreaded Buckethead

The Super Bowl/Groundhog Day sucked for us. The groundhog delivery guy bumped into the football delivery guy and dropped their boxes, causing a football to rise from the groundhog’s gopher hole. We sincerely regret this error

We are thankful for cigarettes. Nothing more

Okay, my friends and I can’t agree...is this a banana or a hot dog? #bananagate

This is tomorrow now

A very sinister number of days until this show. Buy your ticket now, before your friend gets the last one! facebook.com/events/1018429…

Dan’s graphic design aesthetic is perhaps best described as “self taught.” Put it on your calendar when you’re done pukin’: facebook.com/events/1018429…

This Thursday (3/28) at the Brighton Bar in Long Branch, NJ, we’re trotting out an assortment of our favorite bits and scenes. It’s a must-see if you love to have your bean freaked

@TigNotaro We call next, bozo

Give us the tig account so we can sell our customized pocket knives

He’s not

11/1 9pm FEEL THE LOVE at EXTRA SAUCE comedy show at The PIT Underground along w/ @funnnigyal @RealChrisCal @WhiskeyBurrito @passiveabrasive @asimplemachine & @AsthmaSquad of @WRMTHNGS AND your hostesses @ariel_comedy & @missckc 📸 @ximib_photography

Honestly, what else would you be doing on November 6?

Should be a real barn burner!

Do the math, shitheads!