Jimbo Squeaks

@LeonardBriscoe3 How the fuck did an EU stooge like you get an OBE? 🧐

It is blatantly obvious that everyone wants the UK to rejoin the EU. The referendum was a sham, children could not vote and many adults did not vote at all, clearly meaning they did not wish to leave.

China suspends plans for Super Embassy in London after realising they've got a perfectly good one in Downing Street.

Vegans: "Drinking cow's milk is unnatural!" Great point. So instead of pulling on some teats for thirty seconds, we've developed a twelve-step industrial alternative. Step one: grow almonds in California, a drought-afflicted state currently depleting an aquifer that took twenty thousand years to fill. Step two: ship them to a processing facility. Step three: soak them in water. California water, specifically, because almonds need 15 gallons per ounce and California is already rationing. Step four: pulverise them into a slurry. Step five: filter the slurry through fine mesh, discarding most of the actual almond in the process. That was the bit with the nutrition in it. Gone now. Step six: add more water, because the resulting liquid isn't watery enough. Step seven: add sweeteners, because it tastes of nothing. Step eight: add emulsifiers, because it separates in six minutes otherwise. Step nine: add synthetic vitamins, because all the natural ones left in step five. Step ten: add seed oils, because we apparently learned nothing. Step eleven: homogenise, degas, pasteurise, and sterilise the mixture until it resembles no food that has ever existed in nature. Step twelve: put it in a carton with a picture of a field on it. The cow: stands in a field. Makes milk. Has done this for ten thousand years. No factory. No steps. No aquifer. Unnatural, though. Very unnatural.

@RupaHuq Use your vote; as long as it’s NOT Liebore!

May 7th local elections are getting closer. Use all your votes for Labour🌹 The deadline to register to vote is now just 2 days away. Don't miss out 👇🏾 gov.uk/register-to-vo…

@SkyNews @TrevorPTweets WTF? Stop smoking crack!

.@TrevorPTweets: Are you happy to be led by Sir Keir Starmer into the next general election? Liz Kendall: "100%, because he is a man of guts and strength and courage." #TrevorPhillips trib.al/aJdjpuD

@PreetKGillMP I don’t care what you think, liar!

I do not accept the claim that Keir Starmer is a liar. He is not. I have known him to be serious, measured, and guided by a strong sense of public duty. We must challenge one another robustly on policy, but do it in a way that strengthens public confidence not erode it

@PolitlcsUK This lying cunt does not speak for the UK, just his puppeteers.

🚨 BREAKING: Keir Starmer says the UK will lead a defensive military mission with France to protect shipping in the Strait of Hormuz

@10DowningStreet @Keir_Starmer @EmmanuelMacron Resign you liar!

In Paris today, @Keir_Starmer co-hosted an international summit with @EmmanuelMacron. Joined by more than 45 countries, the summit’s mission is clear: We must protect freedom of navigation in the Strait of Hormuz and see a return to peace and stability.

@MatthewStadlen Nope.

Looks like Starmer is in the clear.

@PolitlcsUK Running away again, useless twat!

🚨 NEW: Keir Starmer is flying to Paris this morning to co-host a virtual meeting of the "Strait of Hormuz Maritime Freedom of Navigation Initiative"

@tom_watson Yes he is, and so are you Liebore wanker!

He is many things but Keir Starmer is not a liar.

@Liam_Holman99 oh look a lefty twat!

Starmer did not lie. He was lied to.

@BethRigby More labour lies, go gaslight somewhere else, LIAR!

NEW: Anger in No 10 tonight - am told by a source that neither the PM nor his advisors were told, over a series of months, that Mandelson had been granted security clearance against the recommendation of UK security vetting. That suggests this information was held in foreign office and not shared. Big Qs now about the PM misleading the House. I am told the PM had been asking Qs about vetting and not been told this information while giving statements to parliament. Told this week PM had been trying to get answers about what happened since Tues night - Guardian got ahead of story. The critical point is that the minister has to have ‘knowingly misled’ the House, and clearly No 10 saying tonight the PM was not aware. I understand the PM had been intending to update the HoC as soon as No 10 had established facts, which they have been doing since Tues. So expect to see the PM come to HoC on Monday to correct the record I asked PM on March 16 whether he has misled the House when he said due process was followed. This is what he told me BETH RIGBY: On the Mandelson files, your national security adviser said the process was quote, weirdly rushed, and Mandelson was appointed before developed vetting had been complete. You told MPs in the House of Commons that due process was followed. Is there a possibility that you have misled the House when you said that? KEIR STARMER: No, and the independent adviser looked at that very question. I think on Thursday or Friday of last week, and answered it very robustly, that the process had been followed. The process wasn't strong enough. And amongst the changes that I intend to put into place is the fact that you can't announce someone until the vetting is finished. It wasn't an individual decision in the Mandelson case, that was the process. Well, you only have to look at that. in the light of the appointment, to realise that that needs to change. But on due process, the process that was there was followed, the problem was the process wasn't strong enough, but ultimately, it was my mistake and I have apologised for that and quite right to.

@BBCBreaking yeah….riiiight…

PM was not aware Lord Mandelson failed security vetting for US ambassador job until this week, UK government says bbc.in/41D0z8g

@10DowningStreet @BritishCouncil No one voted for this!

Britain is rejoining Erasmus+. From 2027, thousands of students, apprentices and young people will be able to study and work across Europe, gaining international experience and new skills. Run by the @BritishCouncil, the programme will unlock a range of opportunities for people from different backgrounds across the UK.

@RachelReevesMP @peterkyle Resign you dense cow!

Manufacturers have faced uncompetitive energy prices for too long. So today @peterkyle and I are confirming the final design of the British Industry Competitiveness Scheme, helping 10,000+ businesses cut electricity bills by up to 25% from April 2027. gov.uk/government/new…

@RachelReevesMP @UKLabour

@RachelReevesMP Labtards never learn…

For too long, our country has been exposed to global shocks - and households and businesses have paid the price. We will learn the lessons of the past, and build a Britain that is stronger and more resilient. thetimes.com/uk/politics/ar…

@RachelReevesMP Tax Tax Tax

@ericmigi Not enough bezel, I can still see the screen!

Haha someone made a bezel mode to turn Pebble Round 2 into a PTR