Devin

@googlenesthelp how come when I have Presence sensing off and a schedule set to drop the temperature to 69°at 8pm, do I come home at 1:30am to a house that doesn’t have the AC on? Do you like baking my dogs in the heat because my phone isn’t around? How do I fix this?

Trying to fly out tonight for a wedding tomorrow on @SouthwestAir and they cancelled the flight. I call them to fix it, sit on hold for an hour just to be told there are no possible flights today. Ended up charging me $140 to fly to a nearby airport. Seems like a scam to me.

@FonkSarah @mgonzalez24 24? He’s been waiting too long. Been doing it since 22!

@Walgreens This right here is some bullshit. I recently had LASIK and now I could lose an eye from you selling expired eye drops.

@NASA I follow your Snapchat, and you talked about "robonaut". I feel like a better name would be "AstroBot"

@lm1363 win-win if you ask me

@wLefever how'd you like that game yesterday? I was surprised as all hell

@DSjongMustard he says, having just followed me back. But in my defense, I use Twitter once a blue moon anyway

@DSjongMustard been using cinnamon toothpaste for 15+ years. Get at me.

@JDiesel04 @xxJDKxx I can never keep you two love birds straight.

@JDiesel04 sorry dad

@_theotaylor but what about Pokemon yield?

@_theotaylor, I'm not sure if you're talking to me or @alcockr09

@alcockr09 winner gets @_theotaylor??

The best part of my day is when I wake up and put that Q-tip directly into my ear canal. It's pretty much all downhill from there.

@_theotaylor @alcockr09 I will acquiesce that that is moderately impressive, but until you leave eachother petroglyphs, its nothing special

@_theotaylor @alcockr09 ill only be impressed when you start faxing eachother.

@alcockr09 @ADarlinn @riles188 @emmarchapman96 @BadgerFootball we goen to the LSU game?

In hopes of getting people to wear seatbelts, @UWMadisonPolice turn to zombies. isthmus.com/news/news/uw-m…