juan

I’d rather cut u off completely than limit the way I fw u.

You ever cut someone off and your whole nervous system just… relaxed

Send ICE to Iran.

Mfs will cancel plans just to stay home and sleep..... im mfs.

i open and close twitter like it's a fridge

u ever met someone so dumb u gotta take a deep breath before responding to them.

“It’s been a long-ass week” — me, in the middle of Monday.

“We Didn’t Vote For This”…… Yes U Did!!! U Voted For A Clown & U Got A Circus!!! Cry Us A River!!!!

Shitbag

apple did wonders with their alarm ringtone, i wake up feeling like i'm in the trenches at war

Only the real ones understand

my mom is so fake we're at a family dinner sitting across from each other and i text her and she yells "what's wrong baby why you wanna leave" LMFA000000 ok lady enjoy the retirement home

Me laughing at my own text because I’m hilarious

Messages be way funnier when you know how the person talks.

if crackheads had snapchat i'd be watching they stories everyday

i hate when mfs come in the crib and don’t speak to the dogs. say hi to coco bitch.

ok let me smoke about it and i’ll get back to you on that

i automatically think things are cancelled wen it rains idk why

I say hi to more dogs than I do people.

I have a phobia for feeling like i'm bothering people.