Kurt Schaldenbrand

@flobikes any chance we'll get to see the Women's Juniors race this morning?

@YVNG_CAT Who won the argument?

I saw a homeless man yelling at a driverless Cruise car. Pure SF.

@MisheganPodcast @MCycling I think I’d like a chance at rebuttal concerning my fear of all animals and unusual attachment to toast. Also, I’d love to tell everyone how we are a great option for female athletes looking for a new sport! We commonly see those women jump quickly to a high level of performance

New episode is up! Sarah Duclos & Ellie Callison of the @MCycling team joined to talk about Nationals, the various disciplines in their sport, & avoiding (or accepting) disaster on the road podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6L…

@RebeccaSlatkin Making sure you have listened to this: thisamericanlife.org/115/first-day/…

The squirrel mom and her babies living in my attic vacated the premises sometime over the weekend. Hole was then plugged to close the nursery. See, sometimes ignoring your problems pans out.

@ericaallar WE’VE BEEN DOING IT ALL WRONG ALL THESE YEARS

@aakurt Clearly you don’t need any of those things to win … 😏 🤨

Things I brought to the bike race: * diapers, baby wipes, puréed food pouch, toy monster truck. * Things I forgot : bike pump, tool box, enough gels / race food. 🫣 * #momlife

@RebeccaSlatkin Totally agree. But at the same time, this is brilliant. In a dark, twisted, “Product owns P&L” sort of way.

Wishing the product owner who came up with this a lifetime of endless hemorrhoids.

@YVNG_CAT You were always so mean like this

Today I used the sentence “what are our hours” and watched a non-native English speaker wilt.

@RebeccaSlatkin Baby donkeys are almost as cute as goats. But baby donkeys grow up to be adult donkeys, and goats stay goats. So if I had to choose, I’d stick with goats. But this is America so maybe I don’t have to choose??

New donkey baby alert!

My neighbor’s donkey had a baby and I’m in looooooooove

@RebeccaSlatkin @creation247 Amish furniture manufacturing

@creation247 breakup with him

If you could meet your 18-year-old self, but only say 3 words - what would you say?

@MatteoJorg @NPowless @NPowless please tell me you got a Shamrock Shake

#spotted #redhanded #americancycling 🤣🤣😉 @NPowless

@Hertz I need to rent a large passenger van in Albuquerque later and would like the back 2 rows of seats removed. Is that possible?? I only need to carry 5-6 people, but a lot of gear!

@Enterprise I need to rent a large passenger van in Albuquerque later and would like the back 2 rows of seats removed. Is that possible?? I only need to carry 5-6 people, but a lot of gear!

@MelissaStetten Wait. When *did* 2021 happen?!?

@sabrinablittle Spoiler alert: most toddlers are prepared to run for multiple days

Any time my toddler tries to run away from me instead of doing what I tell her to, I think, “I have been training for this my whole life. Unless you are prepared to run for multiple days, this will not be successful for you.”

@EllenFlem This does raise many questions, but I suppose there’s a three-legged pig out there somewhere with even more…

Thinking about that time I called the police bc I thought I found a human knee washed ashore and thought I was going to have to start a murder podcast. It turned out to be a pig knee. But why was there a pig knee on the beach?!?

@SarahSpain My only issue with Thin Mints is the packaging has ALWAYS had a misprint on the serving size, which as we all know is, “1 Stack”

ATTENTION: The Thin Mint has been replaced as the best Girl Scout Cookie. It was a good run, but the run is over. (And no, your freezer can’t help them keep the title.) Your new champion will not be taking any questions this time.

@FrankCundiff Crazy talk. Good thing no one would ever try something like this, and we can just explore it hypothetically. Even crazier hypothetical idea: what if the winner of the race wasn’t even necessarily the winner of the race?!?

@RebeccaSlatkin Does this have the same effect as saying “Beetlejuice” three times?

I will not start a new task 15 minutes before a meeting. I will not start a new task 15 minutes before a meeting. I will not start a new task 15 minutes before a meeting. I will not start a new task 15 minutes before a meeting.

@RebeccaSlatkin Because they kept eating the bags of frozen peas?

pondering the important things