Alan Hora

I just found @NBCSuperstore and it’s genuinely funny, but that voice that you’re making @Mark_DMcKinney do is fingernails-on-a-chalkboard for me.

@shoptemu It’s St. Patrick’s Day, not St. Patric’s Day, and that’s a Leprechaun not a Gnome, but thanks for celebratin’! =)

Shame on you, @postcereals for harassing @okgo No Post products for me until they get an apology.

@JimNorton Passing through Tulsa today — I can’t be the first one to have seen: Jim Norton’s T-Town, where the customer gets… a little something extra.

@BenningtonShow @GailAaann #fezwhatley So many good memories, *years* behind the wheel listening and laughing -- I will put on Free Bird tonight and have a good cry... Perhaps picturing Ron putting on your old motorcycle leathers and enjoying one of your favorite cigars.

We lost our sweet Fez Whatley last night. His heart finally gave out. We are devastated, but we will always remember the laughter through our tears. Our thoughts are with.... #fezwhatley @GailAaann instagram.com/p/CSjyCSJgskq/

Long, *long* overdue.

@pattonoswalt Some day, a kid and a crazy, wild-eyed old man, who *claims* to be a scientist might come sniffing around, and if they do...

April 1st. April 30th. Doing great!

Go Billy!

*Watches old TV shows* I bet a lot of time travel to the 1960’s ends in suicide.

@avast_antivirus Computer: *Sits completely idle for 10 days* Me: *Tries to do something* Avast: HOLD ON YOU CUNTS, I HAVE TO CHECK ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, RIGHT THIS SECOND. SHOULDN'T TAKE MORE THAN 100% OF AVAILABLE DISK AND PROCESSOR POWER FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE.

Hey @Wendys, how many times a day do people ask, “Do you have Italian salad dressing?” before begrudgingly accepting that vinaigrette crap? Asking for everyone who -would- eat your salads, but don’t.

@peta Someone finally managed to bridge the division in our country! Kudos, #PETA!

Detangled, Silky and Shiny? Tail-waggin' good?

Thrilled to wake up this morning to find that I’ve got a GRAMMY NOMINATION!!! “Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic” is up for “Best Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package.” Huge thanks to the Grammy voters, and my co-art directors Meghan Foley and @aniistoll

@kingstontech This A400 series units are reserved for “Prime” members only. I was very interested in the 120 GB one for an old laptop. amazon.ca/Kingston-Digit…

@Alhora Oh? What happened when you tried to order our drive from AmazonCA?

Hey @kingstontech, @amazonca was holding the Kingston SSD drive that I wanted hostage for Prime members only, so I went with a Crucial unit from NewEgg instead. You guys are all cool with that, right?

@DaneCook Workers come to remove the DeLorean wreckage. The new guy gets them to let him take it home. He finds $$$ and a copy of Doc’s notes. It’s all in code, but because of the 50’s era time circuit, he’s able to reverse engineer enough to get it going. Destination time: Oct. 26, 1985

I think they should do a sequel to Back to the Future for sure. New characters new story... great cameos from the original cast... set up a new adventure with the Delorian. A passing of the torch. BTTF is a classic period but there are more stories to tell in that world.

@Sethrogen @KennedyJonesTHO Yeah, but can you imagine?

@KennedyJonesTHO No you didn’t.

I just got a DM from @Sethrogen and it just says “fart”. Tuesday’s are cool.

Hey @RyderSystemInc Consider forwarding your breakdown customer service lines to a rival company. The net effect would be the same, but it would save me time and you money.

@raphaelorlove Corolla from the west coast? Pfft! You need a Celica from Ottawa!