amii

Feel for school admin staff tomorrow as they field a million phone calls from parents pretending their kids are sick.

Hi @TUIUK please can you explain why you’ve cancelled my holiday to Italy today, flying out in 3 weeks citing “fuel shortages” as the reason. But are readvertising the exact same holiday today for double the price

Me in my late 70s, getting ready to perform Fight For This Love in my care home’s talent show.

Babe wake up, another photo of a British figurehead looking terrified in a car just dropped

@imshanereaction @SardaranCarol I am SCREAMING 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Nobody: Katie Price this week:

Every British PM as told by The Inbetweeners

The uk every single bloody year. What is this dog shite 😂 #eurovision

Yaaaaas Greece!! #eurovision

The NHS wakes up to one question Will he or won’t he And will then get along to work With a shrug

I’m still undecided who I’m going to vote for 🫠

3.3% pay rise & that’s immediately taken with the other hand! @nmcnews are throwing nurses under the bus as are Labour! Nurses on their knees trying to make ends meet! 🤬 #nmc #nursing

@graceyldn I tell them I have a joint bank account and can’t sign up for any direct debits without my husbands signature/permission 😂😂😂

What’s the equivalent of “I have a boyfriend” to those charity muggers that hang around train stations or town centres?

Everything is evidence based in this country until you walk into the ward to find there’s no bed 13.

@drkeithsiau 😉

What is the cause of anaemia here in the duodenum?

Never mind fuel prices, Why do 4 greggs sausage rolls cost £5.10 😳

@qvakeroats @ishsulin Do not get me started on sys1. The rage I feel on a daily basis using it!

EMIS died today and let me just say i have never seen a more poorly-created, janky piece of software that’s literally just gluing together random crap in the most inefficient way possible

Shame Andrew’s spent all day in custody, he’s a missed a CRACKING day on Twitter.

I just know she is laughing it up in heaven watching this family go down the toilet

"Sorry, can't, scrolling Twitter for Andrew tweets, bye" #PrinceAndrew

British Twitter is just glorious today