Shambles

@anon_opin We were discussing this very thing at the Truck stop the other night. Johnnie wanted to talk about the fatality on the M42. Shut him right up, we're talking about Lotus here you cunt.

Lotus's decision in the 1980s to convert its DOS products to OS2 rather than Windows, little remembered today, was one of the truly catastrophic mistakes in modern IT history. Lotus opened the door wide for Excel and Word, and relegated itself to the dustbin of history.

@anon_opin Or it's when he dies that thing with the long candle and white spirit/paraffin and burns the inner ear hairs.

You know you're a man when the barber runs the mini clippers around the top edges of your ears.

@TheCinesthetic Inception

Name a movie that looks stunning even years after its release.

When I have a bath I like to race how long it takes to empty with a bit of "me time". Current record is flaccid to finishing before the glugging starts.

@ATRightMovies Ke Huy Quan as the father in Everything, Everywhere all at once. 💪💪

Which movie character is a great role model for men?

@fesshole FFS try having a field pizza cooked by Army chefs whilst on exercise. Tinned apricots, peas and bacon grill, on an pizza base, with processed cheese and bean juice as there was no tomatoes. Now that's living alright.

Thursday night is pizza night. I'd run out of pineapple chunks so I cubed a red apple instead. It's to go with ham, after all. Wife and kids really liked it. Apparently, we have to use apples instead of pineapple chunks from now on.

@anon_opin Aye it can be problematic. A selection from my 25 tomato plants.

Homegrown tomatoes taste great and are ideal for people who want to eat five hundred of them in a week in early September and none at all for the rest of the year.

@fesshole 3 things in life are always certain. Death, taxes and junkies being thieving scum bags.

One time I collected money for a homeless charity in my workplace. It wasn't my intention to keep it but I had an enormous coke bill with my dealer that wasn't going anywhere. I drafted up a fake thank you letter from the charity. For months I was terrified I would get caught.

@batcountry1980 Growing up in eighties Arbroath, I was a bit of an odd kid, as all my peers were into OMD, Pet shop boys, Style Council, I was getting into my dad's extensive Motown and Stax collection of LP's. James Brown and the Famous Flames were on another level. A solid choice 💪

#itwasaverygoodyear A different year of music every week. This week: 1965 Today’s song from 1965 stuck in my head James Brown- Papa's Got a Brand New Bag youtu.be/QE5D2hJhacU?si…

@fesshole Chicken nuggets that taste of the burnt fat splatters from a roast 4 months ago, mmmmmmmmmmm, tasty.

Ordered a new cooker so stopped cleaning the old ones oven. The order was cancelled because of the covid lockdowns. Never did get a new cooker. Still haven't cleaned the oven.

@jackp593 Penny and Brody on the Highlands this summer

Finished drawing this little chap 🐶 ✍🏼 Keep posting your dog pics! If I see one I love, I’ll draw it 🫶🏼

@GenTXer2 90s Wildwood 80s Tango in the night 70s Aja 60s Bridge over troubled water

Name 4 albums, across 4 different decades, that YOU think are EXCEPTIONAL. Mine: 60s: Odessey &. Oracle 70s: My Aim Is True 80s: Pretty Hate Machine 90s: Violator

@anon_opin Trick or Treating is just glorified begging. Go and buy your kids sweets using your money you pikey bastards

If you're old enough to go out trick or treating without your parents, then you're too old to be trick or treating.

@stats_feed The highlands of Scotland and the English lake district

Aliens have given you 60 seconds to show them two items to prove humanity is worth saving. What do you show them?

What do you regard as the best role of Bruce Willis that isn’t Die Hard?

@anon_opin Actors in the past were treated as losers as they never had the skills to do anything else except play pretend. We would have a much better functioning society if these chancers were still treated this way

Acting is a job creation scheme for lying manipulative sociopaths who would otherwise be a menace to society.

@spiescomedy The funniest show I've seen. Laughing from the first minute, absolutely brilliant. Thank you Mischief, you made our year 🤣🤣

@lomanauthor @fesshole Badumm Tschhh

@fesshole I went home back to a girls place one time and she had 3 shelves stacked up with cuddly toys. Anyway we did the deed and after I asked how it was for her....She said take a prize from the bottom shelf.

Dated a guy who was just perfect, zero red flags, couldn't believe he was single in his 30s. Went home with him on the 4th date, and his bedroom was like a 12 year old's. Posters of naked girls on the wall and videogame memorabilia everywhere. I dried up like a raisin.

@fesshole Are you the same guy that fessed on here the other day about stubborn skid marks in the toilet? Makes sense...

I may hold the unwanted record for most Greggs visits in a day. At train station: Greggs brekkie. Off the train: Greggs pasty & a coffee. Lunch: Greggs. Left work: Greggs pasty. Back at the station: Greggs donut. Off at the other end: a pack of Greggs sausage rolls for supper.

@anon_opin Yeeha

The main problem with cowboy movies is that horses are too small. They should have used giraffes instead. Then those movies would be really good.