Michael Ash Smith

@squarespace ... as a user of your services since you beta tested years ago, I’ve never had as many problems over the years as I do now with your service. Wtf happened?! You used to be amazing.

.@McConnellPress @speakerpelosi Your inaction is killing us. Create policies that protect our planet and our communities before it's too late. The climate crisis is a human issue. p2a.co/twitterimage?i…

@SenJohnKennedy @united What is happening in schools is more disgraceful and you are doing NOTHING about it. Take that seriously.

In a lot of respects, dogs are how people ought to be. What happened on @united was disgraceful and doesn’t need to happen again. I don’t enjoy having to legislate common decency, but by God, I’m going to do it until they take this seriously.

@SenJohnKennedy Are you kidding me? THIS IS WHAT WE WANT FOR GUNS!!!! Thousands of children are dying are you are doing NOTHING about it. Unreal.

I will be filing a bill tomorrow that will prohibit airlines from putting animals in overhead bins. Violators will face significant fines. Pets are family.

@realDonaldTrump If my child gets a 46% in school, she's failing. But you tout 46%. #trumpsterfire

I’m defending the land I have left. Click p2a.co/wjdphO9 to do the same.

Remember what you said? Our greatest treasures are public lands. #MonumentalMistake @SecretaryZinke

Remember what you said? Our greatest treasures are public lands. #MonumentalMistake @SenOrrinHatch

“We are prone to speak of the resources of this country as inexhaustible; this is not so.” –Teddy Roosevelt @realDonaldTrump

Science tip: If you wear your Make America Great Hat you can stare right at the eclipse without wearing those sissy ass glasses.

When your sister forces you to spend time with her new boyfriend:

@iamgeneoh Green people suck.

Logic says the screw I dropped should be somewhere by my feet, but science says it's under the couch in the other room.

Viagra: $41,600,000 Cialis: $22,800,000 F-35: $1,450,000,000,000 Trans healthcare: $8,400,000 Someone help me budget this my empire is dying

RIP Republican Health Care Bill. In lieu of flowers, please send new representatives to Congress in 2018.

@nickelcity Just seeing this ... no thanks man :)

@sachinkhona Coava

Should I take my dog to the vet

Americans often ask me to define the British word "Wanker".

The Republican health care bill is an insult to the American people. It belongs in a garbage can.