Chad Read

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Chad Read

Chad Read

@squirrel74wkgn

_______Sit UBU, sit......good dog____________ NEW Tweets ➡️ https://t.co/VpGo73atvG Favstar / Top 200 ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Chicago Katılım Mayıs 2011
3.2K Takip Edilen16.7K Takipçiler
Chad Read
Chad Read@squirrel74wkgn·
I’m gonna quickly shift this conversation so I can share some random information I learned on a podcast.
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Chad Read
Chad Read@squirrel74wkgn·
Older women that buy a pack of smokes at the gas station and then fire one up right after jumping back into their Subaru get me hard.
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DemonDastardly
DemonDastardly@mydmac·
I'm not saying I haven't had sex in a long time but an archaeologist has pitched a tent in my bedroom.
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Stefan Urquelle
Stefan Urquelle@OfficeofSteve·
You're either normal or you study the menu before going to a restaurant
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Darla
Darla@ddsmidt·
The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.
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Red Riding Hood
Red Riding Hood@RiderofWolves·
Remember when you used to go down on..... .........................my timeline. That was nice
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Robert Knop
Robert Knop@FatherWithTwins·
Welcome to your 40s. If you don’t have a back pain, one will be assigned to you.
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Jen
Jen@SleepEatScream·
People who can swallow pills with a hot drink are not to be fucked with.
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Stewnami
Stewnami@stewnami·
It must have been terrifying to be the first person with diarrhea
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Chad Read
Chad Read@squirrel74wkgn·
I hear ya, Brenda…if I had a nickel for every time I lost the scotch tape while wrapping gifts my wife wouldn’t have left me for that carnie in New Mexico.
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Chad Read
Chad Read@squirrel74wkgn·
I’ll be hosting a Tupperware party tonight if anyone needs any last minute Xmas gifts.
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Chad Read
Chad Read@squirrel74wkgn·
Your Xmas card is taped to the back of my bathroom door so I can stare at your family while I take a shit.
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Gia
Gia@GashleyMadison·
The guy who invented the kazoo must’ve been super annoying.
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Chad Read
Chad Read@squirrel74wkgn·
Accidentally snorted a pubic hair while doing a bump on top of the men’s urinal at the bowling alley.
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Uncle Bob 🍩
Uncle Bob 🍩@UncleBob56·
Hello darkness my old friend. I stood up way too fast again.
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RedVelvetMuffin©️
RedVelvetMuffin©️@Heaterhotusus·
Get in bitch… we’re going trilling with the insects
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Horatio Quartzjixler
Horatio Quartzjixler@Quartzjixler·
A survivalist said that if you get caught in fallout after a nuclear detonation, get inside and bathe ASAP but don't use conditioner as it'll bond radioactive particles to your hair. I don't think dry, brittle hair would be in my top 100 concerns if I'd just survived a nuke.
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Jarhead
Jarhead@Jarhead44·
I'm not the only one farting in Hobby Lobby right now. One just hit me that wasn't mine.
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Marcmywords
Marcmywords@Marcmywords2·
Well well well, let’s see who’s wallowing in denial tonight.
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Darla
Darla@ddsmidt·
Not to brag, but I've been told I'm a fine one to talk.
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