athen

if you ain’t season yo chicken with Joe Cajun CrabFucker then you ain’t black

Sleep token is mudshark metal

Just paid $4.40 a gallon How do I step in to fix this

Claude, make my wife climax. Make no mistakes.

Looking at my cat and moving my mouth whenever the microwave beeps so he thinks I’m making that sound

I’m sundowning

I’m a disgusting failure

A 1999 Toyota HiAce would fix me

Convinced that sock companies rotate their designs every year or so in order to stop people from just buying a pack of the same socks, they want you to throw them all out and buy all new ones

hoes talking about a phat ass but don’t remember their stomach fat too

@junglemandan @ItIsHoeMath One of the last fucking places I ever expected to see you

As much as I am a @ItIsHoeMath fan I am largely not a fan of making people feel stupid and then resentful. Ironically stupid and *not* optimal. Did it ever occur to you that stupid people change , are smart somewhere else or are sometimes stupid? How are you going to draw that line? I do agree “being nice” in its precise definition will not solve anything though and far too few people take action

Remember always, every day: Being nice will never fix anything. It just makes you sit there like an empty Whopper box on the highway while evil rapes and kills and steals all it wants. Stop the evil and mock the stupid. Stupid people need to remember that they're stupid. Point out their mistakes in front of everyone and make them feel ashamed to speak. Cause as much pain as you legally can

Its Tuesday….I’m smoking the Reefer that killed the Pope….Tremendous!

Anyone trying to sell me on country music will get Maced / blackjacked / brassknuckleknived and any other 2 state legal alt weapon ed. Ninja stars shit like that if you talk to me about Jason Aldean or some shit like that.

A Cautionary Tale: After my successful prolapse surgery 11/24, I didn't pace myself and went wild with daily fisting. Today, I'm having a second prolapse surgery. Please fist sparingly. X Van

I’m so about this shit they call me John Wigger

Drove by a cop 30 seconds after tweeting this

I’m an advocate for adopting “‘Native American” over “Indian” so that people can easily tell which group I’m being racist towards - Sent From The Drivers Seat Of My 2004 Subaru Forester

@GoopDestroyer @genericbroad69 In my experience it’s pygeum and zinc which have the most effect, zinc being the #1 to take overall. Soy lecithin didn’t seem to make much of a difference to me. That, kegels and hydration are the most important.

@Paper_Clip1999 @Liv2sexyy yo thanks for helping me out the other day, I was really in the shit and if you didn’t vouch for me I might not be here today

@Liv2sexyy hi

My tongue is a machete