Oh it’s question on logic. Now some might say what is logic so let me explain it to you how norm McDonald explained it to me
Every day I meet somebody new, you know, this city’s great because of the neighborly people, you know. But I did meet one neighbor with an interesting story. This guy just moved in next door to me, so I’m always one to meet the neighbors. So I went over, I knocked on the door next door where I live, and I say to the guy, “Hey, I’m your new neighbor. Good to see you, nice to run into you, welcome to the neighborhood.” And I said, “What do you do for a living there, sir—if you don’t mind me asking—what do you do for a living?” I’m a nightclub comic, I tell the guy. So he says to me, “I’m a… I work down at the University of Science there. I’m a professor of logic.”
“Oh, so I says, ‘Logic? Now what the hell is that? I never heard tell of that.’”
He says, “Oh, well, it’s a kind of a pattern of syllogistic… well, it’s hard to explain. Why don’t I give you an example?”
So I said, “Fair enough, why don’t you do that?”
So the guy says, “Well, let me ask you a question. Do you own a doghouse?”
So I go, “Yes, I do.”
He says, “Well, then that means you probably have a dog.”
I said, “Yes.”
He says, “Well, that means you have a family if you have a dog.”
I said, “Yes, I do.”
He said, “Uh, well, then that means you got kids, you’re married.”
I said, “Yes, yes, I am.”
He says, “Well, then you’re a heterosexual man.”
I said, “Yes, sir, I am.”
He says, “Well, you see, that’s logic there. Simply from finding out you had a doghouse, I made this series of inferences and I found you’re a heterosexual man simply from the fact that you had a doghouse.”
Well, I said, “Good God, isn’t that something?”
So I said, “Well, I won’t waste any more of your time there, neighbor,” and I left. So I go to get a bus, you know, to the bus stop, and I’m standing at the bus and no bus coming at all. Five or six of us standing around, and one guy lights up a cigarette there, and he goes, “As soon as you light up a cigarette, the bus comes.” And he smokes the whole damn cigarette—no bus comes.
So I said to the guy, “Well, that theory really worked, huh?” And the guy goes, “Well, sometimes it works.”
Anyways, the guy goes, “What’s new with you?”
I go, “Well, I had an interesting thing happen to me today. I met my neighbor. And he had a hell of an interesting job. He’s a professor of logic down at the University of Science.”
And the guy says, “Is that so? Professor of logic? What the hell is that, logic?”
I said, “Well, it’s a series of… I can’t remember exactly, but I’ll give you an example if you want to hear an example.”
So the guy goes, “All right, fair enough.”
So I said, “Let me ask you this. Do you own a doghouse?”
And the guy goes, “No, I don’t own a doghouse.”
So I says, “Oh yeah… you’re one of them gays.”
English
