John “Long Hog” Simmons

#wallpiss in 3 spots this mdw

Running oklahomas with my fat friends just to feel something

I love blasting faneto with my windows down in my 95% white and wealthy neighborhood #thehood

@mrsilkroad Easy path

If we miss the Super Regional again this year I’m #killingmyself

@esalindell23 @Mateer4Heisman_ Esa Lindell

@Mateer4Heisman_ What’s wrong with 5’9 and wears an S/M

Why does every UT frat guy look the same. Do they make one who doesn’t wear a M and is larger than 5’9?

Why am I so fucking fat?

@riteredmcknight Highschool burner is tech #expand

high school burners in the big 26

@bigpaulchum OG teaching me right

@bagripjohnny W pops

Dad got me a pint at the Knicks watch party #beeristhickerthanwater

@JaquariusBatt Ecf?

Rate the fiddlesticks

@fatherballss Nobody knows drunk scooter method

Holy fuck. Everybody needs to go run while they’re drunk RIGHT NOW. Life changing

@richpizzaroll Beauty #expand

Watch Out #New #PickleBall

@herkysburner69 If love is love then #beerisbeer

@bagripjohnny #vagina lover is what u meant I believe

Red white and blue for this Memorial Day weekend. What’s better?!

@bigpaulchum Always ready to #dieforthewhale

@fuffa9288 Your friends are on Mossad payroll #truthmissile

It’s Saturday and none of my friends want to go to the bar and chat to some #women #nuke I’m gonna fucking kms

@AriGoldsBurner He’s ready to #dieforthewhale

Buddies mini hoop fucking rocks

@DerekNotJeter Limit the slop when you can #cbtm

My buddy brings his own ranch to Buffalo Wild Wings because apparently their ranch is “unhealthy.” I’m for sure gonna need some other opinions on this one, not sure how I feel about it. #shrink? #expand?

Anyone boozin? #booze

Let me put yall on, 10/10 these are unreal #anklecleavage